


Protection

by Skylark62



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-15
Updated: 2017-01-29
Packaged: 2018-09-17 17:17:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 27,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9334895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skylark62/pseuds/Skylark62
Summary: When Rafael Barba and Olivia Benson are threatened after successfully convicting gang leaders, they think it is more of an irritation than a serious threat. But when an attempt is made on Barba's life, their only option is to go into witness protection. This changes their lives completely, and their relationship to each other.





	1. Chapter 1

The case had been a nightmare, as was usually the case when they took down a trafficking ring, but at least now it was finally over. The bad guys had been convicted, and that included the leaders of a prominent gang that had been causing a lot of trouble in New York recently. Hopefully with those in charge put away, it would give them a break for a while.

The whole of the SVU squad was at their local bar, celebrating the win when both Liv and Barba heard the ping of their phones at the same time. They looked at each other, feeling frustrated. Couldn’t they at least have one night off before they had to go back to work again? But when they looked at their cell phones, they realized this was serious; it was a death threat. They compared the messages and quickly realized the implications.

They had been sent a photo of the two of them, photo-shopped to show a bullet through each of their foreheads with blood dripping down. The message simply said ‘We’re coming for you. You’re dead.’ The photo was recognizable as being taken today, while they were discussing the case inside the courtroom. As the court had been sealed due to the high stakes involved and trouble earlier in the trial, this was very worrying; it meant the person sending it had access inside the court.

Liv quickly phoned Chief Dodds to inform him of the death threat, while Barba rang the DA’s office. Liv was told to stay where she was and that security would be dispatched to them immediately. She quickly caught Nick’s eye and he moved closer. The rest of the team had been worried when they saw the immediate commotion and were waiting to be told what the problem was.

“Nick, can you go and bring Noah here please? He’s at home with Lucy.” Liv wanted her son with her, not out of her sight. She knew that despite herself being threatened, often these gangs actually targeted the families.

“Of course, Liv, but what’s going on?”

She showed him the message, and he left immediately, taking Amanda with him for back-up. The rest of the group moved to a booth of the bar, with Liv and Barba at the back with Fin and Carisi between them and the members of the public who were still enjoying their evening out.

Barba put his hand on Liv’s shoulder and squeezed. He could see how worried she was about Noah, more than for herself. As for him, he was less concerned. Although this was a serious threat, he had received death threats before, quite often in fact, since he had taken on this job. His only family was his mom, and she was currently out of town on her vacation. 

Liv looked at Barba. “You’re taking this well; how come?”

“I’ve had death threats before, since I became an ADA. Most of the time it’s just someone letting off steam after a verdict they don’t like. It’s a pain when security get involved, and I hate having my every movement monitored, but it’s better than taking the risk.”

She nodded. “Yes. I agree. It’s not my first death threat either. I’m more worried about Noah. There’s not just me to think about now. I’ll feel happier when he’s here with me. Considering who we put away today, this could be more than someone letting off steam, though. And how did they get that photo? “

“I don’t know. But that’s for security to find out. There were family members there, so it was probably one of them. The fact that the photo was taken in the court means it will be easier to figure out who sent it.”

Liv snorted. “Yeah. But if it leads back to the gang that won’t help us. There are too many of them, and unless they actually do anything more, it’s unlikely we will be able to put any of them away.”

Just then a group of men entered the bar, all dressed in black. It was the security team. The leader of them, David Sykes, was someone Liv had met before. She introduced him to Barba and the three of them sat down while they showed him the messages and explained what they had determined about the photo. After they finished talking to him, he immediately got on the phone to get their cell phone messages checked, then sat back.

“I’m taking this seriously as this gang has issued threats before, and has also followed through occasionally. It might not be them of course, but until we know one way or the other, I’m not going to take any chances. You’ll both have security details 24 hours a day until we know more. Is there anyone else who needs protection – family, partners?”

“My son, Noah is 2. He is on his way here now,” Liv answered.

“I’ve only got my mom, and she’s in Florida, visiting her sister this week,” Barba replied.

“Anyone else?” Sykes asked. “Often they target girlfriends or boyfriends.”

Both Liv and Barba shook their heads. Sykes gave a rueful smile. “One of the perils of these jobs I guess. They do make relationships difficult. Right, I’ll check with my guys, and let you know when it’s safe to move you back to your homes for tonight.” He quickly got up and left the two of them alone.

Just then Nick and Amanda got back, this time with a dozy Noah clinging to Nick’s shoulder. Amanda put down the diaper bag next to Liv and Nick handed over the tired toddler to his mom. Liv let out a deep breath and relaxed. She kissed Noah on the forehead as he leant against her and his eyes closed. He quickly fell asleep again.

It took about an hour before they were told they could leave. They were driven by their new security details to their apartments and left alone for the night. There would be protection outside watching overnight, and they would be accompanied the following day wherever they went. Hopefully it wouldn’t be needed for long.

***

By 10am the next day both Barba and Liv were in their offices and being briefed on the progress made. Sykes had informed them that the threat had been sent by a burner cell, so there was no way to trace it. The photo had been taken by the brother of one of the leaders of the gang, which is why he was in the courtroom. He had been picked up and was being questioned. He hadn’t given anything up though. Like his brother, most of his life he had been in the gang, and he had a rap sheet as long as his arm. It reinforced that the threat had come from the gang though, which wasn’t what they wanted to hear. The security detail would be staying on them, and surveillance had been put on the new leaders of the gang. It wasn’t possible to follow all the gang members though, so the threat was still there.

Liv sighed. This meant she was pretty much on desk duty for the time being. Lucy still had Noah at home, but a security detail was there too. Noah wouldn’t be getting his usual visit to the park today. She was pretty safe in the precinct though, as no-one would be able to get to her surrounded by cops as she was.

Barba was feeling safe in his office too. The building had metal detectors and security in place already. Plus he now had a security officer sat outside in his reception area. He would be accompanied to the courthouse, which also had security, but his movements would be limited now. His usual trip to the coffee shop on the corner to clear his mind and take a break a few times a day wouldn’t be happening. His secretary, Carmen, had offered to go get his drinks for him, but he was feeling trapped already. She had given up asking him where he was going after he snapped at her for questioning his every movement outside his office. He resented having to announce each time he needed to visit the restroom. He had promised to stay in the building and take security with him if he left.

Mid-afternoon, Barba had a migraine starting, probably brought on by the stress of the situation. The bottle of pills in his office was empty, so he decided to get his overnight bag from his car in the basement car park as he knew he had some more in there. He walked out of his office and headed down to the basement. His security officer wasn’t in the waiting area, but he decided to go anyway. He wasn’t actually leaving the building, after all.

When he got to the car park, he strolled towards his car, taking out his keys and unlocking it remotely. He saw the lights flash and heard the beep which indicated it was unlocked, and then he heard movement and saw a homeless man lurching to his feet and moving away from the back of the car where he had been resting. Barba had seen him before, as he usually lived in the park near there during the summer, but when the weather was cold, he tried to sneak into the car parks nearby to stay warm. He thought his name was Fred.

As he shuffled past Barba’s car, he stumbled, and fell into the side of the car. All at once there was a loud explosion, and a bright flash of light as the car burst into flames. Barba was knocked off his feet by the blast and a twisted piece of metal hit his arm, tearing through the fabric and slicing the shirt and skin beneath it.

Barba lay in shock, watching the remains of his car which was now a fireball. The sprinklers came on, soaking him very quickly, but not fully putting out the fire. The explosion had affected his hearing, but he could still hear the alarms of other cars going off, and hear shouting of the security guard who monitored the car park.

Simon Carlin was Barba’s security detail for that shift. He had been trying to ignore Barba’s coming and going most of the day, realizing that he was feeling restless and trapped. He had promised not to leave the building unaccompanied, which had reassured him though. As a result he had not been too concerned when he had got back to the office after a visit to the restroom to find his charge had left his office again. He was worried when he heard the explosion a few minutes later though. He had immediately charged downstairs to find out what was happening, and also phoned Barba on his cell. The phone wasn’t answered though.   

Carlin flashed his badge to get into the basement, which security for the building had already blocked off, and once in the garage, he quickly realized that it was Barba’s car that was on fire. He cursed, but realized that Barba’s cell phone had been still active when he had rung it. This meant it wasn’t destroyed in the fire. It was unlikely that Barba didn’t have his cell on him, so he could be alive. Carlin quickly rang the cell again, and this time listened carefully, being able to pick up the sound of the ringtone.

He followed the sound and found Barba still lying on the floor of the garage, watching his car in flames. He helped him to his feet and determined he wasn’t badly injured, then told him to wait where he was, which was out of sight of everyone else. He immediately rang control, and informed them what had happened. Within a few minutes Carlin and Barba were joined by Sykes, who threw a blanket over Barba and led him out to a waiting car.

***

Liv was in the squad room watching the news which was showing the DA’s offices with smoke pouring out of the basement when Sykes plus another security officer entered the room. Sykes said  he wanted to speak to her alone but she refused to move, insisting on knowing what had happened.

Sykes sighed. “A bomb was set under ADA Barba’s car. The fire is due to it exploding. We’re taking you into protective custody immediately due to this escalation. Your son is being brought too, and will meet us where we are going. Please get your coat and bag now as we’re leaving.”

“What about Barba? Is he okay?” Liv demanded.

“No, I’m afraid he's dead,” Sykes answered. Although it wasn’t true, Barba would be safer if everyone thought he was dead, especially those who had targeted him. It might also get them to back off Olivia if they thought they had successfully taken out one of their targets.

“Oh my God,” Liv breathed out, in shock.

Sykes walked up to her and took her by the arm. “Come on Olivia, we’ve got to go. We need to get you and your son safe, now.”

Liv allowed him to take her to her office and picked up her coat and purse in a daze. Within minutes she was out of the building and being taken to a safe house.

***

Barba watched in silence while his arm was patched up. He had been so lucky. If Fred hadn’t been there, and hadn’t stumbled into his car, it would have been him. He was dispatched to the bathroom of the apartment he was in, and quickly showered and then changed into the track suit he had been given to wear, as his suit was ruined.

After explaining to the agent what he had witnessed before the explosion, he asked Carlin if he could get some painkillers, explaining about the migraine that had been the reason for him going to his car in the first place. Carlin glared at him, knowing he would get hell from his boss for letting Barba go to the basement unaccompanied, but agreed to get some medication for him. Once Barba took it, he headed into the bedroom and tried to rest. He head was very painful now, not just with the migraine, but also exacerbated by the explosion and shock. If he could get to sleep he would hopefully feel better when he woke up. It took a while, but eventually he fell asleep.

When Barba woke up, he found that Sykes had joined Carlin in the living room. He was feeling much better now, as the medication had done its job. He helped himself to a coffee from the pot in the kitchen then sat down.

Sykes glared at him. “What the hell do you think you were doing, going to your car on your own? You were told not to leave unaccompanied.”

Barba shrugged. “I didn’t leave the building. I only went to my car, and as it had been checked and there was a guard on the entrance I thought it would be okay. I’m sorry.”

“Too late for that homeless man, isn’t it?” Sykes bit out.

Barba paled. Fred’s death was his fault. If he had taken the threat seriously and waited for Carlin, this wouldn’t have happened.

Sykes ran a hand through his hair. “I’m sorry. That wasn’t fair. The bomb was set before you went down there. It’s not your fault he’s dead. But this gang obviously means business, and you’re the only witness to that explosion, so you need to go into witness protection now. As far as everyone knows, you died in that explosion, and that’s the way it’s going to stay. You’re safer that way.”

Barba sighed but nodded. Carlin had explained that to him and got his agreement on the way to the safe house. He sipped his coffee, trying to wake up. He still felt sluggish from the medication and his nap. “What about Liv? Is she okay?”

“She’s fine. We’ve got her and Noah at another safe house. We’re offering to put her into protective custody too.  Until we get the hit on you rescinded or the gangs in custody, you’re both safer well away from here. I think she will agree. She’s upset about what happened to you.”

Barba raised his eyebrows in question.

“She thinks you’re dead. The bomb’s all over the news, and although your name hasn’t been released yet, as we need to inform next of kin first, she insisted on knowing.”

Barba put his head in his hands, as it sunk in what protective custody meant. No-one could know he was alive, and that included his mom. He hated the thought that she would be told he had died, knowing what that would do to her.

Barba reached for the TV remote control, turning on the large television to a 24 hours news channel, and saw the smoke coming out of the basement of the building behind the reporter. He watched it in shock for a few minutes, but then a photo of him appeared, with ‘Manhattan ADA Rafael Barba confirmed dead in the blast’ written underneath it. He sucked in a deep breath. This meant his mom had been told he had died. Tears formed in his eyes, thinking about the pain she must be in.

Sykes left him alone for a few minutes to come to terms with this while he and Carlin moved to the kitchen to make arrangements with the federal marshals who were arranging new identities and to have Barba and Liv moved. One suggestion from the marshals got Sykes thinking, and he went back into the living room to speak to Barba.

“Barba, we need to get you out of state, give you a new identity and a few life. We’re also doing the same thing for Liv and Noah. We can set you up separately, but another option would be to give you new lives together, as a family. Anyone looking for Liv wouldn’t be expecting that, and it would be easier, and cheaper for the feds. I don’t know how well you and Liv get on, if you would be interested in doing it that way, or whether you’d rather be on your own. Have a think about it and let me know what you would prefer.”

Barba looked at Sykes and nodded, before Sykes left him alone again. This was too much, too quickly. He couldn’t take it in. His life as he knew it was over. He knew he wouldn’t be in his apartment again, or be able to take any of his belongings with him. Everything and everyone he knew were lost to him. Apart from maybe Liv and Noah. He didn’t have to think long before making a decision.

He walked back to the kitchen, and told Sykes he would be happy to be relocated with Liv and Noah, if they were agreeable to it. Sykes nodded and then after a murmured conversation with Carlin, he left the apartment.

***

Liv was happy to be reunited with Noah, and the agent had brought a bag of his toys with them, so Noah was building towers with his mom and then knocking them down again. Her mind kept running over what had happened. She couldn’t believe Barba was dead. They butted heads often at work, but she considered him a good friend. They had spent a lot of time together with working dinners and team nights at bars and restaurants, and they had accompanied each other to various formal functions they had both needed to attend as part of their jobs.

She was scared of what this meant for her and Noah too. Sykes had discussed witness protection with her, as she had been one of the main witnesses at the trial, and told her that she should be taken immediately and given a new life. She remembered discussing it with Alex after she had returned from witness protection. Alex had told her how difficult she had found it, wrenched away from family and friends, her home and work, and having nothing to remind her of her old life, not even her name. She had told her how lonely she had felt, and how difficult it had been, making new friends, but knowing she could never reveal too much about herself. Liv hated the thought of going through that, but knew she would accept it. She had to, for Noah’s sake. If she didn’t, then something could happen to her or her son. If she died, Noah would be taken into the system again, and she couldn’t bear the thought of that happening.

Sykes walked in again, and one of the agents took over playing with Noah while he spoke to Liv.

“Have you decided if you will accept witness protection?” he asked.

She took in a deep breath and then let it out slowly. “Yes, I will. I’ve got to, for Noah’s sake.”

“Good.” Sykes smiled at her. “I know it’s not nice, having to do this, but I do think you’re making the right decision. Hopefully it won’t be forever, as we will be working the case and doing our best to get these men off the streets so you can safely come back.” He paused before continuing. “One thing I need to ask you. We can set up new identities for you and Noah and relocate you alone, or as part of a family with someone you know. Which would you prefer?”

Liv looked confused, and then it occurred to her who they could be talking about. “Do you mean Barba? He's not dead then?”

Sykes nodded, and saw a big grin on Liv’s face. “He’s alive. We knew as soon as that explosion occurred that he would need to go into witness protection though, so it was safest to let everyone think he was dead. We can relocate you as a couple with a son, or separately. It’s up to you.”

Liv was so relieved that Barba was alive it took a few minutes for her to consider the question she was being asked. Sykes got himself a drink while she was taking it in.

She joined him in the kitchen. “Yes, move us together. I know from talking to one of my friends who ended up in witness protection that she felt very lonely, so it would be good to be in it with someone who knows me. Plus it’s difficult enough to manage as a single parent with help from friends. Without that support it would be very hard. I think Noah and I would be better with Barba rather than alone. But what does he want?”

“He said he was happy to be relocated with you,” Sykes answered. “I’ll set it up now. The feds will be pleased. It makes their lives easier. We’ll get him moved here too from the safe house he’s in.”

“Sykes,” Liv called as he walked away. “Can I get some of Noah’s things, like baby photos? It would add to our cover and they can’t be replaced, so I really don’t want to leave them behind.”

Sykes sighed, but agreed. “You can’t go back to your apartment to get them though.”

He eventually agreed that Nick could bring the photos to her. Some were in her office, and also at home, and he had a key. Being a detective, he was also cleared by Sykes to know where the safe house was. Liv got on the secure cell to Nick and told him what she wanted bringing, and then went back to play with Noah.

***  

Barba was ushered from the apartment he was in to another one, travelling in a plain car with tinted windows. He spent the journey looking out at the skyline of New York, well aware that he wouldn’t be seeing it again for a long time after he was moved, maybe never. Apart from when he was at Harvard, he had spent his whole life living here, and leaving would be a wrench.

When he walked into the other safe house, he was quickly rushed by Liv, who wrapped her arms around him and gave him a big hug, burrowing her head in his shoulder. “I thought you were dead,” she murmured. He wrapped his arms around her too. Finally something familiar in this awful day, and someone who was happy with him. After a few minutes, they pulled apart, a bit embarrassed about the close contact, which neither of them were used to.  

Sykes left once Barba was settled in the apartment, warning him not to consider leaving. Barba assured him he had learnt his lesson and wasn’t going anywhere.

A few minutes later, an agent entered the apartment and told Liv that detective Amaro was on his way upstairs, and that Barba needed to hide in the bedroom while he was there, to preserve the story that he had died in the explosion. Barba nodded and moved towards the bedroom, where Noah was taking a nap, while the agent left them again.

Barba stopped in the doorway. “Liv, do you trust Amaro?”

She looked surprised at the question. “Of course I do. He’s my partner. I’d trust him with my life. Are you worried he’s involved in this or has been followed here?”

“No, not at all. Just a thought I had. Can he keep a secret?” Barba asked.

“Yes, I’ve never had a reason to doubt him.” Liv answered. Before she got chance to ask anything else, Nick knocked on the door, and Barba moved into the bedroom, closing the door behind him. Liv answered the door, letting Nick in.      

He immediately gave Liv a hug. “How’re you doing?”

Liv sighed. “I’m okay. Just a bit in shock I think, from everything that’s happened. They are putting Noah and me into protective custody, relocating us, new identities etc. I couldn’t leave without these though,” she said, indicating the bag that Nick was carrying.

“It’s for the best, Liv, and we’re not letting this case go. We’re going to keep on it until the threat is gone and you can come back. They will pay for what they’ve done to you, and for killing Barba. You can trust us on that,” Nick vowed.

“I know I can, and that you will all do your best.” Liv answered.

Just then, they heard a click and looked round to see the bedroom door open, with Barba stood in the doorway.

“Barba, what are you doing?” Liv gasped. She now realized why he had been asking about the trustworthiness of Nick.

“I can’t just go and leave with my mom thinking I’m dead. I know it’s too risky to contact her myself, but I wondered if you would speak to her." Barba looked pleadingly at the other man, and saw him nod. "I’m not the best son, but I’m all she’s got, and I’m worried about her.” 

“Yes, I know how I would feel if it was my mom. I’ll keep an eye on her if you like, and I can tell her you are alive if you really want me to. Are you sure that she will be able to keep it to herself?” Although Nick and Barba weren’t close, he was happy to do what he could to help him, and his mom.

Barba nodded. “She can keep a secret. It might be best to wait until things have died down a bit when she isn’t likely to be watched, but I’d like her to know, even if no-one else can. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. I’m glad you’re alive, but don’t worry, you can trust me to keep that quiet.” There was a knock on the door that told Nick it was time for him to leave. Nick walked forward and the two men shook hands. “Are they relocating the three of you together?” he asked. At Barba’s nod, he looked the older man seriously in the eyes. “Good. Look after them.”

“I will, I promise,” Barba replied.

Nick turned to Liv and gave her another big hug. “Look after yourself, Liv, and hopefully this won’t be for too long.” He kissed her on the forehead before detaching himself and walking out of the apartment.

Liv sniffed, as the emotion of the situation was getting to her. Barba walked up to her and squeezed her shoulder. “We’ve got to trust they will get these guys, Liv, and that we will be back, sooner or later. This isn’t the last time you’ve seen him, believe that.”

She turned to him, and smiled, gratefully. She was glad they were going through this together.  


	2. Chapter 2

It took four days for them to be allocated a new home.  They had been lucky as it could take up to two weeks for families to be relocated, but they didn’t have to wait long in the holding apartment. They had been offered counselling while they were there, and had both spoken to the psychologist who had given them some tips to help with the massive changes to their lives.

Their apartment was fully-furnished but very small. They had been given papers which showed they were Rafael, Olivia and Noah Barrera.  They had been told that usually people were given the same initials as their original name and often kept their first names as well to make it easier to remember.  They had been relocated to a small town in Florida, and were only a few miles from the beach. After the cold of New York, it was nice to have the warmth, but it just reinforced how far away from home they were.

They had been given some clothes and cash, and told that new official documents were on their way, including birth certificates, social security numbers and driving licenses. All they needed to do for now was settle in and get used to their new names and identities. They were exhausted after the trauma of the last few days, and after Liv had put Noah down to sleep, she sat down on the couch and closed her eyes.

Rafael sat down next to her and nudged her. When she opened her eyes, she saw he had a glass of whiskey in his hand, and was holding out a second glass to her.

She smiled. “Where did that come from?” she asked.

He shrugged. “I brought it with me from the safe house. I thought we might need a drink to relax once we finally got here. It’s not what I would usually drink, but beggars can’t be choosers.”

Liv took the glass from him and took a sip. “Thanks Barba.”

He looked at her pointedly. “Sorry, Rafael. That is going to take some getting used to. I think Noah has it easy as he doesn’t know anyone’s names yet. But he needs to get used to a name for you. What would you prefer for your name?”

He looked surprised at this.

Liv persisted. “Do you prefer dad, or papa or papi?”

Rafael sighed. “God, I never even thought about that. Papa would be fine. I’ll need to spend a lot more time with him before we get to know other people. At the moment it’s too obvious that we’re not used to each other.” He had never spent that much time around children, so he was a bit worried about this. “I hope he likes me.”

She laughed. “Of course he will. Once you take him to the beach and get him an ice cream, and read him a bedtime story a few times he will soon like you. I don’t think you’re going to get much choice other than to get to know each other, with the three of us in this small apartment.”

He nodded. “Speaking of which… there is only one bed here. I’m happy to sleep on the couch though, so you take the bedroom.”

Liv shook her head determinedly. “No way. That’s not a good long-term option, and we’re not going to be able to afford anywhere with another bedroom for some time. Plus it just gives us something else to hide. I think we should both share the bedroom, as a married couple would do. The bed’s big enough for both of us.”

He looked at her, surprised. “Are you sure?”

“Yes, I’m sure Rafael. We need to get used to our new lives as quickly as possible, and unless you snore loudly, I won’t have a problem with it.”

“I don’t snore,” Rafael commented, “or at least I never used to. I haven’t shared a bed with anyone to get feedback recently.”

Liv yawned and finished her drink. “Speaking of which, I think it’s time to go to bed. It’s been a tiring couple of days.” She got up and left Rafael sitting on the couch while she got ready for bed. This was going to take some getting used to, but she was determined to make a good life for herself and Noah.

***  

Four days later they were getting more used to their new routine. Noah had taken to his new papa, as Liv had said, and was thrilled to have someone else to play with. Rafael had put him to bed the last few nights too, and having bought a second hand book from a local shop, he was reading to Noah each night before he fell asleep. Rafael felt more confident around the toddler now; he was getting plenty of practice, and loved the big grins he got which showed him Noah was pleased to see him.

Rafael had decided to let his beard grow in, rather than stay clean-shaven as he was used to doing. His hair grew rapidly anyway, so it was much easier this way, plus it helped to have a bit of a disguise. Although the explosion and his death hadn’t been on the news for long, it had been national for one day, with his photo being shown, so something which made him look different would only help their cover.

Today was going to be difficult though. He had kept an eye on the news in New York through a second hand laptop they had bought, and he had read his own obituary. He knew today was the day of his funeral; he needed a distraction.

He had mentioned this to Liv, and she had decided they should have a day out and visit the beach for the first time. It would keep Rafael’s mind off what was happening in New York. She was enjoying all the time she was getting with Noah, with her job usually stopping that happening. She kept saying ‘papa’ every time Rafael walked up to him, so he got used to hearing that name. It would take time, but they were making progress.

Liv packed up a picnic and they caught the bus to the beach, with all of them covered in high strength sunblock. They set up under a large umbrella on a blanket and watched Noah’s face as he saw the ocean for the first time. He had been taken to the local pool and was used to the water but the sand and sea were new to him. He was fascinated, and wanted to go closer.

Liv stripped off her shorts and t-shirt to reveal her new swimsuit which she had bought the day before in a discount store. She hadn’t got one that was too revealing as she was now very conscious of the scars left by William Lewis, and wanted to cover them up as much as possible.  Rafael tried not to look at Liv’s figure as he also took off his clothing. They were being very careful around each other.

They had settled into their nighttime routine well, with him letting Liv get to bed before he joined her. She was usually awake before him and up to tend to Noah, so they hadn’t had any awkward moments so far. He was aware that although they went to bed strictly keeping to their own side of the bed, they usually woke up spooning each other. Neither of them had mentioned this though.

The two adults held Noah’s hand as they walked slowly towards the shore, stopping close enough that the waves broke near them and the water lapped their feet. Noah squealed the first time his feet got wet, but quickly wanted to get closer. They took another few steps forward and it wasn’t long before Noah was in the water up to his waist. The waves were crashing too much for him to be able to swim here though, so Liv picked him up and waded further in. When they were far enough out that the water was calmer, she stopped, and supported Noah as he paddled on his front in the warm water.

She looked up at Rafael. “I never even thought to ask – can you swim?” He grinned at her before diving under the water to re-emerge on the other side of her.

“I learnt as a kid but haven’t been in the sea since my last holiday.  I occasionally swam at my gym, but not often. How about you – are you a good swimmer?”

Liv shrugged her shoulders. “I can swim but I’m not a strong swimmer or very confident. I want to make sure Noah learns at an early age, which is why he’s had a few lessons already. He likes the water and like most kids, is pretty fearless in it.”  

Rafael smiled. “We can make sure he gets lessons here, and I’d enjoy taking him swimming too. I’ll go for a quick swim then come back in a bit, okay?”

Liv nodded, and watched as he set off in a confident crawl away from them towards deeper water. She was learning lots of new things about him every day, and the more she found out, the more she liked. Although they had both been pretty stressed out with the changes in their lives, she occasionally now saw a new relaxed side to him. He looked younger and more carefree too, with the stress lines fading, along with the frown lines.

They had their picnic relaxing under the umbrella, and then asked a nearby couple to take a family photo of them. One thing that Liv was very conscious of was that the only photos they had were the ones she had managed to bring with her. The cover story they had worked out was that their previous home had burnt down, which is why they had so few belongings. But it would be best to start to take some. Luckily with the good cameras on their new cellphones, they didn’t need to buy a separate camera.

After that, Noah had a nap while Liv and Rafael quietly chatted, and discussed some of the other things they needed to work out for their cover story. It wouldn’t do any good if they met up with neighbors who asked them how long they had been married, or how they met, and they didn’t have any answers, or their stories didn’t match each other’s.

The other issue they had to consider was jobs. They had had delivered newly minted papers the day before, which meant they now had the necessary ID to apply for jobs. Obviously Rafael couldn’t work as a lawyer, or Liv in law enforcement, but they had both been thinking about what they would like to do, and would have the skills for. They had been looking online too, to see what was available. They were being given money at the moment as part of the witness protection program, but would be expected to be supporting themselves within 6 months. So getting jobs was essential.

Liv had seen that there was a women’s shelter nearby which was advertising for staff, part of the Florida Coalition Against Domestic Violence Foundation (FCADVF). She was keen to get involved if possible with that. To complement her job, she had taken counselling courses in the past, and also had self-defense training. Obviously she was used to dealing with victims of sexual and domestic abuse as part of her job, but couldn’t use that experience unfortunately. She was hopeful that she would be able to take on some role at the center and do further training so she could take on more. It would be one way she could help women who had been abused, which she was still passionate about doing.

Rafael had also been looking into jobs. There was an asylum center not too far away from them which dealt with immigration and asylum seekers. With a background in law he thought this would be interesting, and being bilingual, he hoped to be able to apply there to work. Although he could not say he was a qualified lawyer, he was looking at jobs that were open to non-lawyers. He was researching it currently and had spoken to the agent assigned to check in with them to see what they thought, and what qualifications they could provide for him in his new name.

They had plans for the future, were having a great day out as a family, and Noah was loving their new life. Things were going pretty well.

***

The day was damp and overcast as the mourners gathered around the casket as they watched it being lowered into the ground. The church service had been well attended with staff from the DA’s office as well as SVU, plus some friends of Rafael and his family. His mom had mostly been able to hold things together, and although a few tears escaped and trickled down her cheeks, she didn’t give in to the grief she was feeling at the death of her only son.

Nick watched it all feeling slightly apart from everyone, as the only one there who knew that the funeral was for someone who was very much alive. He had been watching Lucia Barba and debating when would be a good time to approach her. He wouldn’t be telling her today that her son was still alive, but he wanted to introduce himself and offer assistance for anything that she may need. He was planning to wait a few weeks until things had calmed down before telling her the truth. He knew that would be a comfort to her, even though it didn’t really change much; her son was lost to her, and unless things changed, she would never see him again.

He was still hopeful though that they would be able to solve the case, and that the gang situation would be resolved so they would be able to get Liv and Barba back where they belonged. He had sought out Alex Cabot and asked her about her experience when she was in witness protection, and had learnt how lonely she had felt away from everything and everyone she knew, having to make a new life for herself but continually lie to everyone. He thought she might be suspicious and wonder if Barba was dead or not, knowing that faking his death was one way to get him away, as had happened with her, but she didn’t say anything to him about it, and she knew more than anyone that if that had happened, no-one would ever confirm it.

At the wake, Nick spoke to Lucia, and offered assistance with anything, from helping to clear her son’s home or office, to any other jobs that needed doing. He told her that when her son had first been threatened and felt his life was in danger; he had said that if anything happened to him, he hoped someone would look after his mom. Nick said he had promised to do that, and saw Lucia’s eyes fill with tears. Nick gave her his card and told her to contact him anytime, after arranging to meet her on his day off and help her pack up Barba’s home.

***

Nick looked round the apartment, having never visited Barba’s apartment before. It was very classy and neat. Lucia was looking at a photo of her and her son which was on the mantelpiece, above the fireplace. He could hear her sniffing quietly. He sighed. It was a week since the funeral, and he had originally planned to wait longer before telling Lucia that her son was alive, but he couldn’t bear to see her suffering any longer. He made them both a drink and then sat down on the couch, and called for Lucia to join him. When she did, he took her hand in his and took a deep breath.

“Lucia, I wanted to tell you something. You know that Olivia Benson and her son, Noah, were threatened as well as Rafael?” Nick still felt strange calling Barba by his first name, but he wasn’t going to use his surname to his mother.

She nodded. “Yes, I remember meeting her once at the courthouse. I’m glad they managed to get away from the threats.”

“They were taken into witness protection, moved away and given new identities. We are hoping that we will be able to put away the criminals, and cancel the hit on them, but unless that happens they won’t be able to come back, or have any contact with anyone from their former life.” Nick wanted to be very clear on that point.

Lucia nodded again. “I know. I read a book once about someone who went into witness protection. It must be better than dying though.”

Nick paused for a second to consider if he really was doing the right thing, but Barba had been certain his mom could keep a secret and had asked him to tell her the truth. “Liv and Noah aren’t the only ones who were put in witness protection. Rafael has been too. He didn’t die in the explosion.”

Lucia looked at him in shock, and he could tell she wasn’t sure if she should believe him. He decided to fill her in more. “Liv asked me to bring some baby photos of Noah to her, and so I saw her in the safe house before she was relocated. Rafael was there too. I’m not meant to know he’s still alive, but he told me to let you know the truth, and wanted me to look out for you as he wouldn’t be able to.”

Nick could see Lucia’s eyes filling with tears again before they tumbled down her cheeks. “He’s alive? He really survived that explosion?”

Nick put his arm around her and pulled her close to him before passing her his handkerchief. She sniffed into it. “Yes he is. The three of them were being relocated together, as a family I expect. So at least none of them are alone.”

There was silence for a few minutes while Lucia came to terms with what Nick had told her. She pulled herself together and sat up straight, and took a big gulp of her coffee. She looked around and smiled at him, but he could still see the sorrow in her eyes. “Thank you for telling me. I suppose it doesn’t really make that much difference from a practical point of view though. I can’t tell anyone, and I won’t be able to see him or have any contact with him. I’ve still got to sort through his stuff.”

Nick squeezed her hand. “That’s true. But at least now you know he is alive and out there somewhere, and hopefully he may be able to come back one day.”

Lucia sighed before getting up and looking round. “How likely is it that he will be safe to return here do you think, realistically?”

Nick shrugged. “I really don’t know. The hit on them needs to be rescinded, and only the leader of the gang can do that. If another gang takes over them or we manage to take them down that can happen, but I don’t know if the gang unit will be successful. There are no guarantees, even with them as motivated as they currently are. It’s not likely to be anytime soon. You can’t keep here as a shrine to him just in case.”

Lucia’s face dropped. “I know. I just don’t want to sell this place, even though it would be worth quite a lot. It’s his home.”

Nick thought for a minute. “Maybe you could let it? That way if he does come back he can live here again if he wants. His stuff you could put into storage. The rent money would easily cover the cost. I’ve got the names of a few places as I’ve done the same with Liv’s belongings.”

Lucia smiled. “That’s a great idea, thank you Nick. I do appreciate you telling me the truth about Rafael. It does make me feel better to know he’s still alive and there is a chance I will see him again, even if it is a slim one.”

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

A month later, Liv was applying for courses from the Effective Advocacy Training Series. In New York she had completed Sexual Assault Advocate/Counselor Training, and her certification in that was one of the documents she had asked the federal marshals to provide her with. They had done this in her new name, and from a Minnesota college to fit in with their cover story. This had enabled her to get a position helping out at the FCADVF centre.

Although she wouldn’t be able to qualify as a licensed Mental Health Counsellor without getting a master’s degree in mental health counselling, she could work in some positions at the local center of without one. She was still unsure about working towards her master’s degree; as it would take years, she wasn’t convinced it would be worthwhile. She hoped to get her life and career back well before she would finish it. But shorter courses like the ones she had just applied for would be useful for her in both her new life and her previous one. There were 25 in the series, and she was planning to do as many as she could.

In the meantime, she was working at the center regularly a few days a week. She found the work very rewarding, and had managed to fit it in with childcare for Noah too. There was a crèche in the center where women could leave their children while they attended counselling or group sessions, and so Noah was able to stay there while she was working.

Rafael had also been successful in getting a job as an interpreter with Freedom Immigration, which was not too far from where they were living. This was a firm that provided services on everything from immigration and asylum to visas and citizenship. Obviously many of the jobs there were for lawyers, but not all, and be found the job he managed to get was interesting and rewarding.  

They had visited a local photographer and had family portraits done of the three of them, which were now hung up in the apartment. It was starting to feel and look like a home now, with some pictures that Noah had drawn on the fridge, and knickknacks they had picked up on surfaces, a throw over the back of the couch, and assorted books on a bookshelf.

Liv was visiting the local park every day, and had made friends with some of the other moms. One of them, Sue, she found lived on the same street as them, only a few doors down, so she visited for coffee quite a few times. Sue’s daughter Anna was the same age as Noah, and they got on well, so it made sense for the two to get together often. Tonight they had been invited round as a family for dinner. It would be the first time they had gone out together to meet other people, and they were nervous.

Rafael ran through their cover story in his head one last time. They had met 6 years ago when one of the women at the shelter Liv volunteered at had needed assistance with her visa application. They had dated a year and a half before getting married.  They had lived in Minnesota before, but after a fire had gutted their apartment, they had decided to have a new start and had moved to Florida with their son, Noah. They had loved the state when they had visited on their honeymoon, which is why they had decided to live here. They wanted a change from the cold.

He looked at himself in the mirror. He couldn’t have looked more different from ADA Rafael Barba. He was tanned, had slightly longer hair and a beard, and was dressed casually, in beige slacks and a polo shirt. The only suit he now owned was second hand, and not very good quality. He only bought it to have something to wear for his job interview, and hadn’t worn it since, as he was advised not to wear it for work; the clients they saw were wary of people in authority, and a suit and tie put them on edge.

He also looked calmer, and was happier, he realized. Now he was getting plenty of sleep, not having to work all hours, and as a consequence of that, wasn’t drinking excessive amounts of coffee to keep awake and alert. He also didn’t need whiskey to calm down at the end of the day. Even though he missed being a lawyer, he didn’t miss the stress, and his work now was interesting.

His frown lines were fading, and he now had laughter lines instead. This new life suited him, much more than he would have thought. He loved Noah and enjoyed the time he got to spend with him, and seeing the little boy’s face light up when he got home from work made his day. Last week he had said ‘papa’ for the first time, and Rafael had felt his eyes filling with tears of joy. He had never really thought about having children. His career was always more important, and he had never been in a relationship where it was a possibility, since most of his relationships over the years had been casual ones. Now he had a little boy who thought of him as his papa. The fact that they weren’t biologically related didn’t matter; he knew that from seeing Liv become a mom when she had taken Noah on. It was the relationship that was the important thing, and the relationship they had was father and son. He loved it.

His relationship with Liv had changed too. They had become closer over the last 6 weeks, and were now very good friends. They had more things in common than he ever suspected, and the two of them living together and spending so much time with each other hadn’t been difficult. He had thought it would be, as he was used to being alone, but now he couldn’t imagine living on his own. He realized how lonely he had been. This had been the best thing that had happened to him. Of course, he missed his mom, and wished he could share his new life and insights with her, especially now he had a better understanding of a parent- child relationship, but that was the main downside. He wouldn’t swap his new life for his old one, and knew even if he got to go back tomorrow, he wouldn’t live the same life he did before. This was home now, or rather Liv and Noah were.

Liv was similarly thinking about how their lives had changed. She was happy too, although she missed her apartment and job, and her friends. Her life hadn’t been all about her career before, as she had learnt the lesson some years ago that there was more to life than work. That had led to her adopting Noah, and that was something she never would regret. But her life here was good too.

She loved working at the women’s center, and enjoying the work she was doing. She was relishing the freedom she had to spend more time with Noah too. Even living with Rafael was good. When she had first considered it, she wasn’t sure how it would work out. He was often bad-tempered and irritable at work, although she had seen a different side to him as they had gotten to know each other better outside work over the last year. That was what made her say yes to them being relocated together, that and knowing she trusted him, and that life would be better with the 3 of them together. She really hadn’t expected it to work out as well as it did though.

Whether they were doing chores together, chatting over dinner or watching TV, they got on so well, with no sign of the irritation that she had come to associate with Rafael. She saw him laughing and smiling now, rather than frowning, and he was always attentive to her as well as Noah, not expecting her to do all the cooking or the housework, but doing his fair share. He was a gentleman too, never coming to bed until she was already settled, and despite them sharing a bed, he hadn’t taken advantage in any way. She felt safe with him, in a way she hadn’t felt around most men for years; since before William Lewis.

He was a great papa to Noah too, and she could see how much the little boy was loving the attention and having a father constantly in his life. She had always made the most of opportunities for Noah to be around men, being very conscious of him not having a father, and Nick had often fulfilled that role. But now he was flourishing with the daily attention from both of them.

Liv was just finishing putting her earrings in when Rafael walked out of the bedroom. He smiled as he looked at her. “Very nice. I like that dress.” It was a new one for her, that she had bought the day before at a second hand boutique she had found. Money was tight but they hadn’t brought any clothes with them, so they were gradually adding to their wardrobes, but from second hand shops and cheaper stores than they would have visited before.

Liv smiled back at Rafael, taking in his appearance too. She held out her hand with her necklace in it. “Could you help me with this please?” she asked.

He stepped up behind her and fastened the necklace as she held her hair up out of the way. She could smell the cologne he had on as he stood so close to her, which he rarely did. Despite them living in a small apartment and sharing a bed, they didn’t touch often. Both of them were very aware of the platonic relationship they had. Tonight would be different though as they would be out together as a family.

“So tonight will be the first time we need to appear as a happily married couple,” Rafael commented. “Nervous?” he asked.

Liv smiled. “No. We should be fine. I don’t suppose Sue and Roger will be expecting us to be too lovey-dovey. We may look more convincing if we’re in each other’s personal space a bit more than we’re used to, but that’s not a problem for me. The basis of most good relationships and marriages is friendship, and we’ve got that now.”

“True,” Rafael commented. “Don’t worry, I’m really not into PDAs, so I wasn’t going to do anything overt. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable. The trick to being convincing is being natural with each other I think. We’ll play it by ear, but if it feels right to be closer or touch more than we usually do, then it’s fine by me too.” 

“How long is it since you’ve been in a relationship?” Liv asked, hesitantly. They hadn’t discussed anything this personal before.

Rafael thought back. “About 3 years, I think. My work always took priority, and she had just had enough of it and found someone who would concentrate on her more. I really didn’t blame her. Since then I’ve pretty much lived the life of a monk.” Now it was his turn to hesitate. “Obviously I know about you and Brian, but why did that end?”

Liv sighed. “We wanted different things. I wanted to settle down, have a baby. He didn’t. The stress of what had happened to me was a big factor too as I was traumatized and suffering from PTSD. I was also very conscious of the scars and didn’t feel that comfortable being intimate. Brian realized and that side of our life together faded more into friendship. That was probably the final nail in the coffin of our relationship.”

 Rafael squeezed her shoulder in sympathy. He knew what Lewis had done to her, and realized how difficult it would be to overcome that sort of trauma within a relationship. “Have you had a relationship since then?” he asked.

Liv shook her head. “I’ve recovered from the PTSD and feel a bit more comfortable with the scars now, but they still remind me of that time in my life, which I don’t like to think about. Plus anyone who saw them would ask questions. I’m not ready for that.”

“So no-one has seen them since then?” he asked, surprised.  

“No,” Liv answered. “Only really the medical personnel ever have. Of course, photos were taken and used in the trial.” Her voice trailed off as she realized that Rafael had seen the photos and knew where every scar on her body was.

“It doesn’t really matter anyway. They look better than they did, and it’s not as if anyone will ever see them now,” Liv commented with a smile, although Rafael could see it was a bit forced. 

Just then they heard Noah moving around. He’d been having a nap before they set off, so Liv went into his room to get him up and ready for their evening out. She was thankful for the excuse to drop the subject.

Rafael thought about it after Liv had left the room. He had been on his own so long that he really didn’t miss a relationship, but with him and Liv being in this pretend marriage, neither of them were in a position to get involved with anyone else. What they had now would have to be enough for them.

As it turned out, the evening was quite relaxed and went well. Both children were thrilled to spend time together, and Anna had been keen to show Noah all her favorite toys and the sand box she had in the garden. The adults shared a couple of bottles of wine over a barbecue. Rafael and Liv sat in a swing seat, and Rafael had his arm around Liv part of the evening, so they were closer than they usually would be, but nothing overt. Roger and Sue didn’t seem to notice anything out of the ordinary, and didn’t ask them any questions that they hadn’t already prepared answers for. They all had a great evening, something Liv commented on as they walked back home, with Rafael carrying a sleeping Noah, as it was quite late by the time they left.

“It’s been lovely to go out. I hadn’t realized how much I miss having friends to talk to, or somewhere to go that isn’t home.” Liv glanced round to see Rafael’s reaction, realizing what she had said could be taken as criticism of their current life together, which was pretty boring really. He didn’t seem upset though.

He nodded. “I know. I don’t miss much about our old life really, not as much as I thought I would, but it is nice to do something different and go out. I didn’t really socialize before that much, as most events were networking or work-related, and obviously I worked quite late often too, but tonight was really nice. I was concerned before that it might feel awkward, but it really didn’t, and they seem good people. We should have them over to us soon.”

Liv smiled at him. “Yes, that would be nice, although we don’t have as much room for entertaining as they do. It does feel like home now though.” Liv unlocked the door and held it open for Rafael who went through to put Noah to bed. She knew he would take his time, to give her the chance to get ready for bed herself, before he came near the bedroom. They had their evening routine established to give them both maximum privacy.

***

One evening later in the summer they had their nighttime shattered though. It had been a hot and humid day, with the weather forecast promising thunderstorms during the night. They arrived with a blinding flash of lightening and a few seconds later a very loud clap of thunder. It woke everyone up and within seconds Noah was crying. Liv rushed in to his room to get him. He wasn’t used to storms, with any they had in New York being very mild in comparison to this.

Liv walked back to their bedroom, carrying a very upset Noah with her, and got back into bed, putting Noah between herself and Rafael. This comforted Noah, who clung on to both of them, pulling them closer to himself so he was shielded on both sides. Rafael looked at Liv, but obligingly moved over. He was wearing a tank top and boxers only, and was only wearing them for modesty’s sake. It was far too hot to wear anything else. Liv had on shorts and a strappy top, and when the next flash of lightening lit up the room, brighter than daylight, she realized that Rafael would be able to see much more of her than she was used to revealing. It wasn’t that she was modest, but she was very conscious of her scars, and didn’t want him to see them. She reached into the drawers by the bed and pulled a night-shirt out, and started putting that on.

Rafael stopped her with a hand to her arm. “Liv, don’t. It’s far too hot to wear anything else. I won’t look at you if it makes you uncomfortable, but don’t put more clothing on. Not in this weather.”

Liv looked at him, surprised he had said anything, and feeling a bit silly at being so self-conscious. He had seen her in swimwear before, and they had been sharing a bed for months now, and she trusted him. She nodded and put the night-shirt away, and then distracted herself by talking to Noah. They settled down in the bed, and Rafael told the scared boy a story about how a thunderstorm was really two boys playing about in the sky, knocking things over. He giggled as they came out with suggestions about what each thunderclap could be that had been knocked over, and soon the fear was gone and his eyes drooped as he started to fall asleep. Not long after the storm had passed, Noah was fast asleep again.

Rafael got out of bed and picked up Noah, telling Liv he would take him back to bed. He opened up windows in the bedrooms too, letting in the fresh air. He returned to bed and they both fell asleep to the sound of the rain outside.

The next morning, Rafael knocked on the bedroom door as Liv was getting dressed. Noah was engrossed in a TV cartoon show, and he wanted to talk to her. Liv opened the door, having thrown a robe over her underwear.

Rafael came in and sat on the bed, then looked seriously at Liv. He wasn’t quite sure how to put this, but wanted to try and make her feel more comfortable around him. “Liv, I know this situation is awkward, without much opportunity for privacy for either of us, and living together sharing a bed isn’t ideal.  But I always want you to feel you can trust me, and feel comfortable around me. You shouldn’t feel as if you need to cover up in 100 degree heat in your own bedroom. So if there is anything I can do to help you feel more comfortable around me, I’d like to do it.”

Liv struggled to meet his eyes, aware it wasn’t him but her own hang-ups that were the issue. “It’s not you, Rafael, it’s me. I’m not used to anyone seeing my scars, so I feel I need to cover them up if I’m not on my own.”

Rafael nodded. “I can understand why you feel that way about them, but it’s not as if I haven’t seen them before. I saw the photos in the file before the trial, and you’ve said they are better now than then.”

Liv finally met his look, and he could see tears in her eyes. The last thing he wanted to do was upset her. “I’m sorry, Liv, maybe I shouldn’t have said anything. I just thought…”

Liv took in a deep breath. She was aware this was one area she had been struggling with since the assault had happened. “What did you think?”

Rafael looked up again, and could see the determination in her eyes. “I thought if you let me see the scars, it may help you feel better with them, or at least being around me. But I understand how big a deal this is for you, and I may be asking too much.”

Liv sat down on the bed next to him and squeezed his hand. “No, it isn’t asking too much, and I think it will help, but you’re right, it’s not easy for me.”

Rafael didn’t say anything, but turned his hand the other way up and squeezed her hand back before letting go. The next move was up to her.

Liv slowly undid the belt of the robe and pulled the two sides apart so they went into a deep V-shape. She dropped it off her shoulders too so all of her skin above her bra was revealed to Rafael. He turned on the bed slightly, as did Liv, so they were more facing each other. Rafael looked into Liv’s eyes and whispered, “thank you,” before letting his eyes drop to the flesh she had revealed. He was well aware of where her scars were, having never been able to forget the burnt wounds he had seen pictured on the photographs in the official file of her assault by William Lewis.

Now as he looked at the tanned curves revealed to him, he struggled to even see many of the scars he knew were there. They had faded into thin lines, and the plastic surgeon had done a great job on one which he remembered had been the imprint of a key. He could see a few round marks he knew were cigarette burns as well.

Liv was breathing shallowly, her hands tensed into fists holding the cloth of the robe. She was struggling not to jump up and run away, or at the very least cover herself up again. After what felt like an eternity to her, she heard him call her name.

“Liv, I know they seem worse to you because you see them and remember the pain and the fear you felt when they were done to you, but they really don’t look bad now. I can only see them because I’m sat so close to you and know where they are. If you were wearing a bikini, or a low-cut dress, I can pretty much guarantee no-one would even see them. When I look at you, I see a beautiful woman, not scars.”

Liv raised her eyes to meet his, and could read the sincerity in them as she pulled the robe up and around herself again. She felt a tear escaping her eye and run down her cheek. Rafael caught it with his finger and brushed it away, then pulled her into his arms and gave her a hug.

“Thank you for trusting me enough to show them to me,” he whispered in her ear.

Liv returned the hug, and felt the tension leave her shoulders. She felt as if a weight had been lifted off her shoulders, one that had been there since the day William Lewis had marked her. But there was one more scar that she had which he hadn’t seen. She pulled away, determined to show him all the damage.

“I know these scars are much better and have healed well. But I do have another one, and that didn’t heal so well. It’s not one that anyone is likely to see unless I ever was in a position to get intimate with them, but…” She trailed off. She knew she would feel better to get reassurance about this scar as well, but it was on the side of her breast, under her bra, and she wasn’t sure that showing it to Rafael was the right thing to do, considering their relationship.

But all he did was nod, and say “Show me.” He had known it was there, but hadn’t been about to mention it.

Liv turned away from Rafael, dropping the robe briefly as she removed her bra, then picking it up and folding it around herself again, so the only flesh on display was that surrounding the most intimate scar she had. She slowly turned round to face Rafael, and saw him take in a breath as he looked at the large scar on her breast. It was still pink and was puckered, quite wide at one end, and definitely worse than the others.

Rafael looked away from the scar and back up to Liv’s face, and she quickly covered it up. “I told you it didn’t heal well.” She sat down on the bed again, tying up the robe so she was fully covered up again.

“No it hasn’t healed as well as the others. But it’s not as bad as it probably is in your mind, Liv. I think any man that was lucky enough to be in a position to see that scar wouldn’t be worried about it, or let it put him off. Scar tissue is stronger than normal skin, and your scars are a sign of how strong you were, and fearless for your own safety in doing what you could to save others from William Lewis. You are a beautiful woman, inside and out. Don’t ever doubt that.” Rafael hoped he was getting through to Liv. He realized this had been very difficult for her, and was blown away at the trust she had shown by revealing this scar to him.

Liv nodded, and he could see tears in her eyes again. But before he could say anything more, he heard a shout of his name from Noah in the lounge. Rafael smiled at Liv. “I’ll go and distract him for a bit, and give you a bit of peace.” He squeezed her hand one last time then got up to see to the toddler.

Liv let out the breath she hadn’t realized she was holding, and relaxed. She had done it, and he hadn’t been repulsed. In her mind, this scar had taken on mythic proportions, and she had imagined a man taking off her bra and staring disgustedly at it before walking away from her. It had taken a lot for her to show it to Rafael, and his reaction and his words warmed her. She ran them over her mind as she got dressed for the day. He really was a very special man, a great friend. Maybe she could finally put her fears about her scars to rest.


	4. Chapter 4

A couple of weeks later, Liv finally put Noah down and relaxed onto the sofa next to Rafael. Sue had approached her that day in the park with a suggestion, which she had said she would discuss with him.

“Sue asked me today if we would be interested in sharing babysitting each week with them. Since Anna was born, they have made a point of having a date night each week and getting a babysitter. Another couple did this with them, so one night Sue will babysit their child so they get a night out, and then another night they have their own date night. The couple they have this arrangement with are moving out of the area though, so she asked if we would be interested.”

Rafael looked at Liv and shrugged. “Why not? I can see for couples it would be a good idea to have a date night, and that doesn’t really apply to us, but it might be nice to go out without Noah sometimes, and if it helps Sue and Roger out, it’s fine by me. It’s not as if we have a busy social calendar, and apart from the one night you teach your self-defense class, we are usually both free in the evenings.”   

She smiled. “That’s what I thought, but I wanted to check with you first. I’ll let Sue know and make arrangements with her. Any preferences for days?”

“No. I don’t mind. I’ll start coming up with ideas of things we can do…unless you wanted to have a bit of alone time. Apart from work, we’ve pretty much been in each other’s pockets the whole time since we got here, so if you want some time to yourself, I can understand that.”

Liv looked at Rafael, hesitantly. She didn’t feel she needed time away from him, but maybe he was suggesting it because he wanted some time alone. “No, I’m happy to spend time with you, but if you want to do your own thing, I won’t be offended. I realize before we got here you spent most of your off-work time on your own, so maybe you need a break from this family life you’ve been stuck with.”

Rafael shook his head. “No, I don’t feel like that at all. Yes I did spent a lot of time alone, but I’ve realized how lonely I used to feel. Now, being part of a family with you and Noah, I feel happier than I ever did before. I love spending time with you both.”

Liv smiled at him. “Good. I’m really happy and Noah is thriving too. Before, I used to worry about him not having enough good male influences in his life, and spending too much time with Lucy, but now that isn’t an issue. He’s got a papa living with him and he’s spending most of his time with me. I think this worked out really well for us all. It’s just a shame about the circumstances, and us having to leave our friends and family behind.”

Rafael sighed. “Yes, about that. Next Sunday is my mom’s birthday. It’ll be the first one I’ve spent without her. I’m just telling you because it’ll be difficult for me.”

Liv put her hand on top of Rafael’s and squeezed. “Thanks for telling me. Should we plan to do something together as a family to keep you busy, or would you rather have some time on your own?”

Rafael thought about it. “I think being distracted would be best. Do you fancy going out for the day?”

She grinned. “Yes, that sounds good. I’ll have a look online tomorrow and see if there’s anything going on nearby that would be suitable.”

***

Back in New York, Nick was also aware that Lucia had a birthday, and had previously heard that she usually spent time with her son on that day, so was making arrangements to see her. It was his weekend to have Zara, so he had invited Lucia to join them on their trip to the zoo. She was happy to accept, as she wasn’t sure how she would have been able to keep herself from thinking about Rafael and worrying about him otherwise.

The young girl was thrilled to see Lucia as she had met her before and had been spoilt by the older woman, and skipped along happily between the two adults as they made their way into the zoo, pulling them towards the sea lions which she wanted to see first. The morning was spent visiting one exhibit after another, until they finally made their way to the Dancing Crane café to get some lunch.

After that, Zara went into the 4D theatre, while Lucia and Nick waited outside for her. Lucia finally broached the subject that had never left her mind. “Is there any progress on the gang yet?”

Nick sighed and glanced around to make sure they were alone before answering. He had kept in touch with the gang unit and had specifically checked in with them a few days ago, as he had suspected Lucia would ask. “They are making progress, but it is slow. They have an operative undercover and are gathering evidence, but it will take more time. They are trying to get enough to put the whole gang away, and not just get them for this case. That is the only way the hits will be cancelled. We just have to be patient.”

Lucia was disappointed, but hadn’t really expected any different answer. “At least they are making progress and still working on it. I don’t think I could bear it if they gave up.”

Nick pulled her close to him in a hug. “They won’t give up. When law enforcement is targeted, we never give up. The gangs know this, which is why there are fewer hits on us than there otherwise would be. We will get them. It’ll just take a bit longer.”

Lucia leaned into Nick, appreciating his support. She missed her son, especially on days like this, but Nick was a great comfort. She didn’t feel so alone with him in her life.

***

Rafael was similarly finding the day difficult, but Liv had organized a lovely day out, which helped enormously. They had caught the train to Orlando which was about an hour away, and then went to the Sea Life Center. Noah loved the 360 degree ocean tunnel, and was fascinated by the turtles, and watched enraptured as the different creatures got fed. Even Liv and Rafael were entertained as neither of them had visited a Sea Life center before. They spent a few hours inside before heading out to get some food before setting off back home again. Noah was so tired that he slept all the way.

Rafael was gazing out of the window, thinking about what a great day they had had, and hoping his mom hadn’t been too sad but had managed to enjoy her birthday. He had really hoped that the hit on them would have been rescinded by now, so he could contact her. As more time passed he was starting to lose hope. He hated the thought of never seeing her again.

Liv put her hand on Rafael’s arm to get his attention. “Are you okay?” she asked.

Rafael sighed. “Yeah. It’s been a great day; thank you for arranging it Liv.” He smiled at her, but she could see the smile didn’t reach his eyes.

“You’re thinking about your mom,” she said quietly.

“Yes. I really wish I could just talk to her even if I can’t see her, but I know it’s impossible. It’s driving me mad not knowing what’s happening with the case.” He laughed. “It’s ironic really. If they came and told us now that we could go home, back to our old lives, I’m not sure I’d really want to do that. I’m crazy, aren’t I?”

Liv laughed too. “No. It’s not that you want your old life back, it’s that you want the choice. You want to be able to make your own decisions about your life. That’s pretty understandable. I want the same. But at least in the meantime, we’ve got a pretty good life here. I know it could have been much worse.”

Rafael nodded, and let his eyes fall to Noah, fast asleep but still clutching a fluffy turtle they had bought him. He smiled. Yes, life could be much worse.

***

It was coming up to Christmas, and although the days had shortened, and the weather cooled compared to the first months they had been living there, it was positively balmy compared to what they were used to. Rafael even continued to take Noah swimming in the sea which was still a warm 25 degrees, despite being winter. They found they did miss the snow though.

This year Noah was old enough to start to get excited about Christmas, and there was a lot of talk about Santa Claus, as well as present buying. Rafael took Noah on a shopping trip and picked out presents for both himself and Noah to give Liv, and the two had a lovely afternoon together.

Christmas day itself was relatively quiet, with just the three of them. Financial support from the relocation had stopped, so money was tighter than they were used to, but they managed okay. Rafael’s job paid well, and Liv was bringing in money from her work too. They had adjusted their spending to their income, although Rafael did miss his premium scotch. Liv had bought him a bottle for Christmas though, so he was looking forward to enjoying that. 

Lucia had a quiet Christmas too. She couldn’t bear to stay at home, where she would miss Rafael more, so had visited her sister in Florida, little knowing that her son was in the same state. When she got back after Christmas, Nick and Zara visited her, and the little girl told her all about the presents she had received. Over the last 7 months Lucia had seen Nick regularly, and he brought Zara quite a few times too. To Lucia, it almost felt as if she were part of their family. Nick had confided in her that the relationship he had with his mom had been strained since he had testified at his father’s trial, and he enjoyed the relationship he had with Lucia.

***

For New Year, Liv and Rafael had been invited to a party at Sue and Roger’s house. They were taking Noah too, who could sleep upstairs with Anna until the end of the party, so they wouldn’t need a babysitter. They got dressed up for the first time for a while, with Rafael wearing his suit and Liv a red dress she had bought at her favorite boutique. It was lower cut than she usually had worn, but since revealing her scars to Rafael, she felt less self-conscious about them, and had studied her reflection in the mirror to check if she could spot them before buying the dress. She was also wearing a necklace that Rafael had bought her for Christmas. It had a locket on it with a picture of Noah in, and a tree of life engraved on the front. She loved it, and had quickly added another photo inside – one of the three of them.

The party was great, with many people they had met before, as well as some new couples they hadn’t. By now, both Rafael and Liv were used to appearing as a couple, and didn’t think twice about standing close together or touching. But when New Year approached, it occurred to them that they would have to do something which they never had done before; kiss.

Rafael was stood next to Liv in the lounge as the countdown to New Year started. As everyone started saying ‘Happy New Year’ and kissing, he turned to Liv and saw her watching him with a smile on her face. He swallowed then licked his lips before leaning down and gently pressing his lips to Liv’s. The kiss didn’t last long and started out chaste, but it still sent a bolt of electricity down his spine, which turned into arousal when Liv responded and kissed him back. He pulled away, reluctantly, and whispered “Happy New Year Liv,” to her.

She wished him a happy new year too, and then they both looked away from each other awkwardly, and took a sip of the champagne in their glasses. Other people approached them for hugs and kisses on the cheek, and the next few minutes were lost in happy well wishes.

The party moved outside so they could watch the firework display at the nearby town, and Rafael put his jacket around Liv’s shoulders to ward off the chill in the air as they stood together watching the brightly colored display.

Liv’s mind wasn’t on the fireworks though. She was surrounded by the smell of Rafael from his jacket, feeling tingling on her lips from where he had kissed her, and wanting more. Their relationship had been strictly platonic, but now she found herself hoping that could change. It had been a long time since she had been more than friends with a man, and she did miss it. In all respects but one she had the relationship she had always wanted but never managed to find. Could they add sexual intimacy too? She couldn’t deny she was attracted to him, and as they got on so well, she wasn’t worried about the relationship not working out.

She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye, and saw a frown creasing his forehead. That wasn’t a good sign. Tonight probably wasn’t the time to broach the subject anyway, as they had both been drinking. She forced her gaze back to the fireworks, determined to enjoy tonight for what it was, and not wish for more.

After they got back and Rafael had put Noah to bed, he hesitated. He got himself a small glass of the good whiskey Liv had bought him, and sipped it slowly. He was tired but didn’t want to go to bed. He didn’t trust himself to be able to lie next to Liv all night and not make a move on her. He had always found her attractive, but had successfully tamped down the sexual side of himself, and had managed to share a bed with Liv now for 7 months without a problem.

But tonight he didn’t think he could do that. They always woke up tangled up in the middle of the bed despite going to sleep separately, and he didn’t trust that in his sleep he wouldn’t do something to make Liv uncomfortable, or embarrass himself. He sat on the sofa and closed his eyes. Everything had been going so well; why did this have to happen now? He fell asleep thinking about the kiss they had shared, and in his dreams it went further than just kissing.

 

Liv woke up later than usual, due to their late night, but still quite early. She immediately realized that Rafael had never come to bed. She walked into the lounge and saw him curled on the sofa, fast asleep and still fully dressed. She walked over to him and shook his shoulder slightly to wake him.

He opened his eyes to see Liv looking down at him. He straightened up, feeling a shooting pain through his neck which had been in an uncomfortable position for hours.

“Why didn’t you come to bed last night?” Liv asked.

Rafael frowned. There was no way he was telling her the truth. “I got myself a nightcap,” he said, indicating the empty glass on the table, “and must have fallen asleep here. It was a long day,” he added, hoping she would buy that excuse.

Liv looked at him, using the same skills she had employed as a detective during interrogations, and trying to tell if he was being truthful or not. Unfortunately for her, he was good at covering up what he was thinking. She decided to give him the benefit of the doubt. “Okay. It’s still early now. You could get another couple of hours in bed while I see to Noah,” she suggested.

Rafael smiled, but it was a bit forced. “Thanks. I might just do that.” He walked into the bedroom and shut the door, leaving Liv to stare at the closed door, until a noise from Noah got her moving to him.

Rafael slumped down on the bed, but didn’t bother getting undressed or getting into the bed. He didn’t think he would sleep any more, but he welcomed the time alone to get his thoughts under control. He had a platonic relationship with Liv; that couldn’t change. It was too risky. They had a great relationship now, but if she became aware that he was having sexual feelings for her, it would ruin everything. She had to be able to trust him. He had to get this out of his mind, now. He lay there for a while before eventually getting up and heading to the shower.

He stood there, letting the water beat down on his sore shoulder, before taking himself in hand. Maybe if his body was sexually satisfied, it would help him to forget the feelings he was developing for Liv. But his hand couldn’t replace a woman, and despite his best efforts, he couldn’t get Liv out of his mind. He came to visions of making love to her, biting his lip to keep his cry of satisfaction silent.

By the time he got dressed, the house was silent. Liv had left a note telling him she was taking Noah to the park, so he got himself some coffee before heading out himself. He spent the next few hours walking around the town, thinking, before heading back home. He had great willpower when he was determined to do something. Forgetting Liv as anything but a great friend was something he was determined to do.


	5. Chapter 5

Despite his decision, Rafael struggled to act normally around Liv. He started to set his alarm on his watch to before Liv would usually get up, so he could be sure to be awake before she was. This meant he could move away from her before she was aware that they had been wrapped around each other part of the night, and before she could feel his erection, which each morning had been pressed into her backside as they spooned in the bed. He was also much more aware of the space between them, and was careful to keep out of her personal space. 

These changes weren’t lost on Liv though. Considering how close they had become, this distance between them now was obvious to Liv.She bided her time however, until they had their date night. She was concerned they might end up arguing and so wanted Noah away from the house while she confronted him.

As the day approached, Rafael suggested they do something separately, but Liv refused to consider it. Rafael suspected she had realized there was a problem and wanted to discuss it, and the tension between them increased.

After Rafael dropped Noah round at Sue and Roger’s house, he tried again to avoid the issue by mentioning that some of the guys from his work were meeting for a drink in town, but Liv shook her head. She had had enough.

“No way. There’s definitely a problem between us, and we’re going to hash it out now. We can’t carry on like this.” She never took her eyes off him and saw the slight flinch he gave as she brought up the subject that he had been avoiding.

“I don’t know what you mean,” he said, not really thinking it would work to convince her, but having to try. He couldn’t meet her eyes.

“Do I have to spell it out to you?” she asked angrily. “Fine. Things have been wrong between us since New Year’s Eve. You didn’t come to bed that night, and have spent as little time as possible with me since then. You come to bed late, get up early, and try to keep a 3 foot space between us at all times.”

She paused, waiting to see if he was going to continue to deny there was a problem. He didn’t say anything. She could see the tension in his shoulders and the muscles in his face clenching his jaw shut, but he stood still as a statue, not responding at all.

Liv swallowed hard. She had wracked her brains for days over what could be the problem, and had to know the worst, no matter what it was. “Have you met someone? Someone you want a relationship with? Is that why you’re not happy living with me all of a sudden?” She could hear the catch in her voice which betrayed how much this idea hurt her.

Rafael gasped, and turned to look at her. “No,” he said immediately. “There’s no way that would happen.”

Liv relaxed minutely; relieved this wasn’t the reason for his behavior. “Well I could understand it if that was the case. Although we’re both wearing wedding rings, we aren’t actually married, and haven’t made any commitment to each other.”

Rafael walked forward and grasped Liv’s arms in his own. “No, Liv. I have made a commitment to you, and I wouldn’t look at anyone else, even though we aren’t really married. That’s not it.”

“So what is it then?” she asked gently. She saw the defenses go back up on his face as she returned to the original subject. “You can tell me anything, Rafael. We’re in this together, and we need to trust each other. So please, be honest with me.”

Rafael turned and sat down on the sofa, with his head in his hands. “I can’t. We have a great relationship now. I don’t want that to change. I want you to feel you can trust me.”

Liv followed him and sat down next to him, feeling him stiffen up as she got close. “I do trust you, and I won’t stop, unless you keep this from me. You say you don’t want our relationship to change, but you behaving this way is doing that. So talk to me.”

She was silent for a minute, giving him chance to respond. When he didn’t, she decided she needed to try a different tactic. She got up and brought them both drinks, feeling a bit of alcohol might help him open up. She took a sip of her wine then commented, “This all started on New Year’s Eve, didn’t it?”

She saw him nod before he reached down and picked up the glass of whiskey she had put in front of him. He took a sip then held it between his hands, looking at the amber liquid as if it held all the answers.

“The kiss at New Year; that was when things got strange between us,” Liv said, determined to pin down the timeline more. Again she saw Rafael nod, and heard him sigh. She thought back, trying to work out if she had given away how affected by that kiss she had been. If he had figured out she was interested in him but he didn’t feel the same way, that would explain his reaction, although not why he was worried she might not trust him if he told her the truth. Of course, the alternative was that he wanted more, and was worried about her reaction. She really hoped it was this.

“You say you want our relationship to stay the same, but is that really what you want? Or did that kiss get you thinking about ways things between us could change, and you’re concerned I don’t feel the same way?” Liv waited with baited breath for his answer. She hoped they were on the same page here.

Rafael cleared his throat before answering in a whisper, “yes.” He held his breath, relieved it was out in the open, but worried about her response. She took the glass of whiskey out of his hands and put it on the table with her wine glass, before pulling his arm so he was facing her. He could see a beaming smile on her face, and it transfixed him.

“Me too,” Liv whispered. She ran one hand up his arm to his shoulder, and then wound her fingers into his hair. “Kiss me,” she said.

He didn’t need telling twice. He moved forward, pulling her to him until her breasts were pressed against his chest, and lowered his lips to hers. He had been imagining this for days. He kissed her as if he couldn’t bear to let her go, letting all his passion show, and within seconds the kiss was deep and intense, with both their mouths open and their tongues exploring. Rafael groaned deep in his throat; this was better than he had thought. He couldn’t get enough of her.

Rafael moved position on the sofa, leaning back and pulling Liv until she was lying down on top of him on the too-small sofa. He opened his legs and felt her settle between them. He knew that she would be able to feel his arousal despite the clothing still between them, and paused. He pulled back and asked her, “Is this okay?” He remembered her saying that she had issues with intimacy after William Lewis, and didn’t want to overwhelm her.

Liv laughed. “Definitely okay. This is what I want too. But I don’t think this is the most comfortable place for this, do you?”

Rafael grinned. “You have somewhere else in mind?” he said suggestively.

Liv got up and moved off the sofa, then reached a hand down for Rafael. “Come on, I think the bed is much more comfortable.”

Rafael got up and willingly let her lead him to their bedroom. As they stood together in front of the bed he hesitated. “Liv, are you sure you want to do this? I don’t mind going slowly, and waiting until you are ready.”

Liv drew Rafael closer, appreciating how careful he was being. “I’m ready now. I trust you, and I want to make love with you. We’ve got a few hours before we have to collect Noah. I want to make the most of it.” She pulled him into another kiss, and pulled his t-shirt out of his jeans and ran her hand up his bare back, loving the feel of the smooth skin and the movement of his muscles as he moved his hands beneath her blouse to caress her back.

She pulled back and tugged the top over Rafael’s head, then ran her fingers down his chest, through his chest hair until they reached his belt buckle. She gazed into his eyes and saw him nod, and then undid the belt, and the button and zipper of his jeans.

Rafael pulled off his jeans, leaving him in just boxers, and reached for Liv. He paused with his fingers on the top button of her blouse, and then when he saw her nod, he quickly undid each button, until it was open. He pushed the two sides apart and took a breath as he saw the tanned flesh of her breasts above the lacy bra. The blouse quickly joined his clothing on the floor of the bedroom before he pulled her into his arms again. It was the first time so much of their naked flesh had been joined, and they both relished the contact.

They kissed again, each kiss getting more frantic as their arousal notched higher. Liv reached down to the side fastening of her skirt and undid it, before pushing it down her legs and off. She moved backwards and lay down on the bed, tugging Rafael after her. He lay on top of her, supporting his weight on his elbows, but with their body joining all the way down their torsos. He rocked his hips and heard Liv gasp as she moved her legs further apart and angled upwards so his erection brushed her clitoris, through the remaining clothing they both wore.

Liv ran her hand down Rafael’s back again, this time not stopping until she was caressing his ass, feeling the rhythmic movements as he rocked down onto her. She started to pull his boxers down, and Rafael moved away briefly as he removed the underwear. Liv reached down and took hold of his cock. It felt so hot and hard, and she couldn’t wait to have it inside her. She quickly moved to take off her panties and pulled them off while still caressing Rafael. He was gasping and trying not to thrust into her hand. It had been far too long since he had felt the touch of anyone else on him, and the feel of Liv’s gentle hand on him was too much. He pulled away before he lost control. He wasn’t sure he would last long anyway and didn’t need the added stimulation.

Rafael instead reached behind Liv and undid her bra, quickly removing it and taking one breast in his hand while he took the other nipple in his mouth. Liv moaned as he sucked on her peak and pulled on the other nipple, and then he slowly moved his hand down her body, giving her plenty of chance to stop him if this wasn’t what she wanted. She didn’t. He reached between her legs, feeling the warmth before he felt the wetness of her arousal. She thrust her hips up to try to get him where she wanted him, and he circled her clitoris with his thumb, caressing her slick folds and then gradually easing inside one finger, then a second one.

Liv was arching up on the bed, pulling him towards her. “Now Rafael: I want you in me now,” she whispered, pulling his face up so she could kiss him, and thrusting her tongue in his mouth the same way she wanted him to thrust inside her. Rafael was lost. He couldn’t resist this. He moved into position between her legs and felt her hand grasp him again and guide him where he most wanted to be.

He managed to control himself enough to gently move into her, well aware it had been a long time for her, and then he paused when he was all the way inside her body. He took a deep breath and tried to concentrate on Liv and not move. Within seconds though, Liv had her legs wound round his waist and was thrusting her hips up towards him.

Rafael could take a hint. He started thrusting in and pulling out, gently at first, then speeding up until they found a rhythm they liked. He could feel Liv’s internal muscles clenching him with every stroke, and knew he wouldn’t last long. He reached down and rubbed her clitoris with his thumb again, and together they moved, spiraling higher and higher until Liv came. Rafael had been determined to last until he satisfied Liv, but feeling her muscles spasm with her orgasm was the last straw, and he gave in and groaned out her name as his seed was released, deep inside her.

Rafael managed not to put all his weight on her, but pulled out and collapsed next to her on the bed. He was still panting as he pulled her to him. Now he could touch her he had no intention of stopping. He opened his eyes to see tears in Liv’s as she gazed at him.

“What’s the matter? Did I hurt you?” he asked in a panic.

She laughed. “No, silly, of course you didn’t. These are tears of joy. I never thought I could have this again. Thank you.”

Rafael relaxed again, and then pulled forward to kiss her gently. “Thank you.” Something occurred to him and he cursed. “Damn. I never thought about protection. I should have used a condom. I’m sorry Liv, I’m not usually so careless.”  

“Don’t worry about it,” she told him. I’ve got an implant fitted which lasts 3 years. So we are protected from pregnancy. As long as you don’t have any diseases I should know about…”

Rafael was quick to reassure her. “No. I’ve always been careful in the past and been tested after each partner. I know I’m clean.”

“Good,” Liv replied. “Me too. So we can do without condoms if you’re comfortable with that.”

Rafael smiled. “Yes. That’s fine with me.” He ran his hand over Liv’s hip then up to above her breast. His thumb brushed over the faint scars left from cigarette burns and Liv flinched. He stopped and looked at her. “Sorry. I can stop if you want.”

Liv took in a deep breath. “No, it’s okay. It’s just no-one has ever touched them before. I’m not used to it.”

Rafael looked down at her breasts again, taking in the scars, before running his fingers over the closest ones. “They don’t feel rough. Do they hurt?”

Liv shook her head. “No. The scars themselves feel numb, and some of the skin around them too.”

Rafael reached down and placed a gentle kiss on the cluster of cigarette burns, then moved to caress then kiss the next scar he found. By the time he had repeated this process with all the scars on Liv’s body, she was comfortable with it, although she did struggle not to pull away when he kissed the biggest scar on her breast. But he quickly moved to her nipple, only an inch away from the end of the scar, and the arousal started to build again.

But this time Rafael was determined to take his time. He caressed all of her top half before moving down to her legs, stroking her strong thighs and kissing her knees before finding a hot spot behind one knee and tonguing it. He moved between her legs and gradually his kisses moved upwards, until it was obvious where he was heading next. He caught Liv’s eye and she nodded her consent before he nuzzled her inner thighs, before moving still higher until he could lick her more intimately.

His tongue circled her clitoris before heading down to bathe her soft folds, and then upwards, as his fingers joined in the stimulation. Time and time again he pushed her closer to the edge before finally she came with a scream before collapsing on the bed again.

Rafael smirked as he took a drink of water from the bottle by the bed and wiped his chin. He loved doing that, and hearing the sounds of joy from Liv was great.

She opened her eyes slowly and saw the smirk on Rafael’s face. He was feeling pleased with himself, she could tell, and with good reason. He was definitely talented at that. She gave herself another minute to recover the use of her limbs, and then decided turnabout was only fair. She pushed Rafael to lie down on the bed, and set about arousing him to the same degree he had done her. She took the time to explore his body, loving his chest hair, and the slight softness around his waist, before she finally settled between his legs to explore better the hardness jutting out there.

Liv kissed Rafael’s thighs, and then caressed his balls before taking them in her mouth and sucking gently on them. He gasped her name, and was squirming on the bed before she pulled off to kiss her way up his cock to the head, then opened her mouth and gently swirled her tongue around it. He thrust his hips off the bed, the stimulation more than he could stand, but she pushed his hip down before taking it further. She inhaled before taking the cock into her mouth, and sucked gently as she bobbed her head, before pulling off to breathe. Rafael was breathing erratically by this point, and she used her hand while she grinned up at him, seeing him gasp and watching the ecstasy on his face. She moved down again and continued to ratchet up his arousal with her hand and mouth until she heard him call her name in warning. She didn’t pull off though, and swallowed his release as he came in her mouth.

By the time Rafael recovered enough to open his eyes, Liv was lying next to him with her head on his chest. “Wow. You’re good at that,” he commented.

She grinned. “I thought the same about you. But I think we’re probably both out of practice, and should make up for that.”

Rafael laughed. “I don’t have the recovery time I had when I was in my 20s. Twice in an hour I think is a pretty good start. You shouldn’t expect any more action from me tonight.”

“Don’t worry, I’m definitely satisfied…for now.” She gave him a lustful grin.

He groaned. “Oh my God, you’re going to be insatiable aren’t you? I’m going to struggle to keep up with you.”

Liv laughed. “I’m sure you’ll cope.”

Rafael stroked Liv’s back as he thought about the changes the last hour had brought to their relationship. “Aren’t you worried about how this will affect us? I was so worried when I realized how I felt at New Year. I kept thinking about all the things that could go wrong.”

“The main way it would go wrong is if both of us felt differently. As we feel the same and want the same things, then it will be fine.”

He hesitated. “I’m not great with relationships.”

Liv looked at him thought fully. “Your work used to get in the way, which it won’t do now. Anyway, when a relationship gets past the casual stage, usually it’s the practicalities of it, or wanting different things long-term that causes the problems. We’re already living together as a married couple, so that’s all sorted out. I think there would be more likely to be a problem if this hadn’t happened. If one of us had met someone else we wanted, it would have been much more of a threat.”

Rafael nodded. “Yes, you’re right. I hadn’t thought about it that way.” He grinned. “So we’re going backwards. We’ve got the marriage, and now we’re going to enjoy the honeymoon!”

Liv leaned down to kiss him. When they surfaced a while later, Liv caught sight of the clock by the side of the bed. “We’d better get moving. Noah will need collecting in half an hour.” She got up and headed for the shower before turning round and asking, “Do you want to join me?” It wasn’t an offer Rafael was about to refuse.

***  

Half an hour later, Rafael still had wet hair as he knocked on the door of Sue and Roger’s house to collect Noah. Roger saw his wet hair and swollen lips and laughed. “Looks like you two had an enjoyable evening!”

Rafael could feel himself turning red at the implication, but couldn’t stop the grin. “We decided to have an evening in by ourselves.”

Roger smirked. “Sounds like a good idea. Maybe I should suggest it to Sue next week. Rekindle the fires, so to speak.”

Noah came rushing out, clutching a drawing he had made of the beach and him swimming with fish. He had been fascinated by sea creatures ever since they had visited the Sea Life Center. Rafael listened to him talk as he gathered the boy’s things and they headed down the road to home. This date night had turned out to be a great idea. He couldn’t wait for the next one.


	6. Chapter 6

 

Nick was trying to concentrate on getting his reports up to date when his phone rang. It was Matt Bayliss from the gangs division.

“Hey Nick, good news finally. We bust the gang this morning. We got them on fraud, murder and robbery, as well as the murder of Barba and threats against Benson. They are going away for life, but it may take some time to sort out the details. We’re arranging plea deals with some of the lesser members in order to get the main culprits put away for life without the possibility of parole. The ADA is also trying to get the standing hits to be lifted as part of the plea arrangement. I’ll know more in a few days, but hopefully this is the end of the road for this gang.”

Nick grinned. “Thanks Matt, I really appreciate the heads-up. Let me know when the arrangements have been made and how you get on with lifting the hit. Tell your guys well done from us here in SVU.”

Matt laughed. “Will do. We’re all celebrating here. It’s great our hard work finally paid off so successfully. I’ll be in touch.”

Nick put the phone down and looked round at Fin and Amanda who were watching him, waiting to hear what he had been told. Carisi was out with Captain Harris, who had taken over the squad when Cragen retired.

“I assume that was Matt from gangs?” Finn asked.

Nick grinned. “Yeah. The bust went down this morning, and they are working out deals and getting them put away now. They hope to get the hit lifted, then Liv can come back home.”

“Finally,” said Amanda. “It’s felt like forever. I’m sick of being the only woman around here.”

“What do you think it must have felt like for her?” Nick retorted. “I think we had the better deal. I’ll be glad to get her back though, and Noah. I’ve missed the little guy.” It occurred to him that there was someone else he needed to inform about the bust, and he quickly excused himself and found a quiet office for some privacy.

“Lucia, it’s Nick. I’ve got some good news,” Nick said, when Lucia Barba answered the phone. He followed up by telling her what Matt Bayliss had told him, and that he would keep her informed. Lucia was silent as she listened to the news, in disbelief.

“Lucia, are you there? Did you hear what I said?” Nick asked, feeling worried by her not responding.

“Yes, I heard you Nick. I just can’t believe it. After all this time, I was starting to think it would never happen. So when do you think they can come back?” Lucia’s mind was whirring with the idea that she finally would see her son again.

“I’m not sure. It’ll probably be a few weeks by the time they get all the deals worked out and in front of a judge. As long as there doesn’t need to be a trial, it won’t be too long. But a trial could take months or even years with appeals, so we need to keep our fingers crossed that it won’t come to that.” Nick tried to be realistic; he knew all it would take is one of the major gang members to refuse to a plea agreement and they could be in for a long trial. It was unlikely it would be safe enough for them to come home until that was over, at the earliest.

“But they’ve got the men, and they are locked up?” Lucia persisted.

“Yes, they are all in Rikers, and will be staying there. I’ve got to go, but I will keep in touch, and let you know when I hear anything,” Nick promised before hanging up.

Unfortunately, time dragged slowly, and the gang leader refused to play ball. He was convinced that he would be able to use intimidation and threats on the other witnesses to get off. So he refused all deals and insisted on going to trial. Nick was frustrated. Although Matt assured him that there was no way he would be found not guilty, and that it was only a matter of time before he was convicted, it meant a long delay. The trial date set was months away.

Nick delivered this news to Lucia in person, and saw her shoulders slump as she took it in. It wasn’t the news she wanted. Now the possibility of seeing Rafael again was so close, she was struggling to cope with waiting. Nick didn’t know what else he could do for her though.

***

Rafael had been occasionally keeping an eye on the news from New York on his laptop, and saw the gang bust which had made the news. It was light in details, but Rafael showed it to Liv, and they agreed to discuss it that night while they were on their own.

By this time they had been together a month and everything was going great. They were definitely in the honeymoon phase of their relationship, and Rafael was wining and dining her, and arranging romantic dates for their date night each week, as well as wooing her in the bedroom most nights. He was in love, and had never been happier.

Liv felt the same way. Her eyes lit up each time he entered the room, and she struggled to keep her hands off him when they were together. Sue commented on how their relationship seemed to have changed, and Liv had to come up with a reason for it. She told Sue that they had gone through a rough patch a year ago and had decided to stay together as friends, for Noah’s sake, but had recently managed to work through things and get their relationship back to how it had been before. Sue could see how happy her friend was, so didn’t think too much about it, although she wished Roger looked at her the way Rafael looked at Liv.

Liv dropped Noah off with Sue and then headed home. Rafael cooked and they enjoyed a lovely meal together before discussing the latest that had been reported on the internet. It looked as if they would be free to go home at some point, even if it was after the trial had concluded.

Rafael took a sip of his wine as he looked at Liv. “So how do you feel about this? Do you want to go home and pick up where you left off?”

Liv sighed. “I doubt it would be that easy, even if I wanted to do that. My place at SVU will have been taken, as they would have been too short-staffed without me, so I might not have a job to go back to. Plus, I’m not sure I would want to do that, to be honest. I’ve loved spending the time with Noah that working part-time has enabled me to do, although obviously money would be a factor in whether I could get away with doing that permanently. My apartment will have been re-let, so I wouldn’t have a home to go back to either. But getting my life back is appealing. How about you?”

Rafael swirled the wine round in his wine glass before finally meeting Liv’s eyes. “I think I would have a home to get back to. It doesn’t look like my mom has sold my apartment – I checked listings today and also the building record. My mom is listed as the owner now, and it appears to be let. I’m sure the DA could find me a position, although probably not ADA for SVU. But I’m not so sure I would want to go back to that. The hours, the stress  - I enjoy not having that. I’d like to find a way to do more of what I’ve done here, helping asylum seekers and immigrants, maybe women who need legal advice when escaping their violent partners. I want to be able to use my legal skills to help those people more if I can do that.”

Liv smiled at him, but saw a look of hesitation cross his face.

“I love the life I have here with you and Noah, now. I don’t want to lose that. I want to go back and see my mom, and regain some parts of my life, but I don’t want to go back to being a lonely bachelor. I’m Noah’s papa now, and I love you. I feel my life is with you.”

Liv got up from behind the dining table and pulled Rafael up from his seat. She hugged him and kissed him tenderly. “I love you too, and no matter where we go, or what we do, it’s together. We are a family now, and we’re staying together. So maybe we end up squashed in your apartment, or we find somewhere a bit bigger for the three of us, and we both look for new jobs that give us more time together and less stress, but we do it together.”

Rafael grinned, and Liv could see the relief on his face. “A bigger place would be nice, with a garden for Noah to play in. And don’t worry about not being able to afford to work part-time; I’ve made some good investments over the years so have an income from that as well as any salary that I earn to use to support us.”

Liv laughed. “Ahh, that’s how you could afford those ridiculously expensive suits, is it?”

Rafael tried to look offended. “They were not that expensive, and anyway, I don’t believe you didn’t like them.”

Liv gave him a sly look. “I never said I didn’t like them. I definitely liked the way the suit pants hugged your ass. I noticed that very soon after meeting you, and the suspenders emphasized it too. Very flattering, although I must admit to having got used to seeing you more casual.” She ran her hand down his back to his jean-clad ass, and gave a squeeze. “So how about you take me to bed and show me how much you love me?”

“I can do that.” Rafael leaned closer for a passionate kiss, and then took her by the hand and led them into the bedroom, pushing her down to the bed and quickly following. Their clothes soon were scattered, and all that could be heard were moans as their bodies were joined and followed a rhythm as old as time.

***

A month later and Nick got another call from Matt with news about the case. The gang leader who had been waiting for his day in court had met a grizzly end in Rikers, having been shanked in the showers. Not good for him, but definitely good for the cops, and the ADA. He was now leaning heavily on the next in command of the gang to rescind the hits that had been placed on the law-enforcement officers who had been instrumental in putting the gang away. In the end, his lawyer negotiated a deal for him to cancel all the hits as long as he was put in a different jail, closer to his family, and also having the death penalty taken off the table. This all took a couple of days of negotiation, but it was finally agreed, and those who had been targeted were finally safe.

Nick got on the phone to the federal marshals quickly, asking them for information on Liv, and was told that they would be in touch once arrangements had been made. Nick asked them to pass the message on to call him, and then waited with baited breath to hear. Along with him in waiting was Lucia, who was very anxious to finally hear from her son. In order to give them something to do, Nick suggested they have a ‘welcome back’ party, and invite people who were important to both Liv and Rafael for a celebration. Lucia loved the idea, especially as it gave her something to think about, and stopped her gazing longingly at her cell phone.

Rafael’s apartment had been vacated; Lucia had given notice to the tenant as soon as she had heard that the gang had been put in jail, but she had yet to do anything about sorting it out, so it was currently empty, and of course, Liv’s apartment had been re-let, so she didn’t have anywhere to live. Nick suggested they could maybe stay at a suite in the hotel he had approached for the party until they decided what they wanted to do. Now all they needed was a date.

***

Rafael and Liv were both watching TV and intermittently making out on the sofa when there was a knock at the door. Rafael answered and found Sykes, the federal marshal who had relocated them at the door. He looked around to see if anyone had spotted him, then quickly ushered him into the apartment.

Sykes grinned. “Don’t worry. No-one saw me here, and anyway, it doesn’t matter now. We’ve got notice that the hit on you both has been rescinded, so you are safe. You can go home now if you want.”

Rafael and Liv looked at each other in astonishment. They were still under the impression that they would have to wait until the trial was over at the least. Rafael asked what had changed, and Sykes filled him in on what had happened in the last couple of weeks.

“So, do you want to go back to New York? I can make arrangements to make that happen, although if you are settled here, you could stay.” Skyes asked. Most people in his experience decided to go home and resume their life, get their names back and reunite with family and friends, but sometimes people did stay in their new life.

Rafael looked at Liv and saw her nod, then told Sykes their decision. “We want to go home. What is the process for that?”

“We can arrange to take you soon as you are ready to leave. You could come now, or if you want to make arrangements, pack etc, give me a ring and let me know when is best, and we will come and get you.” Sykes handed Rafael a card with his number on it.

Rafael turned over the card in his hands for a minute. “At work they expect a week’s notice, and I don’t want to leave them in the lurch by just leaving. What about you Liv?”

“Same for me. One week’s notice. That would give us time to pack too. Is that okay with you, Sykes?” Liv asked. She thought she could do with that time to get her head around it, and prepare for the change.

Sykes nodded. “That’s fine. So how about a week tomorrow. We can bring a van for your stuff and collect you then. You should be back in New York by the end of the day, as we will arrange a flight for you, but your stuff will take longer, as it will go by road. Any questions or problems in the meantime – just ring me.” He started walking towards the door, but was stopped by Rafael.

“Are we really safe now? I mean, can we contact people in New York before we go next week? I wanted to ring my mom and speak to her.”

Sykes looked at him for a few seconds before smiling. “Yes, you’re safe to ring her. It’ll take us a while to resurrect your life, as officially you are dead, unlike Olivia who has just been missing for the last 10 months, but you can certainly let your mom know you are alive.” He looked at Liv. “Your old partner, Amaro, has been bugging me about you, so it might be worth you giving him a ring too.”

Rafael grinned and reached out to shake hands with the agent. “Thank you for everything.”

Sykes smiled again at both of them then let himself out.

Liv got up and gave Rafael a hug and kiss before picking up his cell phone and giving it to him. “Go on, call her now. I’ll give Nick a ring.”

Both of them picked up their cell phones and retreated to opposite sides of the room so they could talk without interruption, and quickly got on their cell phones.

***      

Five days later they were having a barbecue at their house for the last time. Sue and Roger had been invited, and Anna was playing with Noah outside. They had decided to tell the couple who they had become good friends with the truth about who they were, and where they were going. At work they hadn’t given much information out, and had just worked their notice, saying they had to move away at short notice due to family problems.

Sue and Roger were amazed to hear that they were in witness protection and not actually a family. Sue did comment to Liv that she felt they were a family now, and this explained how come they had suddenly started acting like a couple a few months ago. Liv confirmed that until that point they had just been friends, but the proximity and getting to know each other better had turned their friendship more romantic. She even told them that it was their New Year’s Eve party that had sparked the change in their relationship. At the end of the night, the two friends hugged and promised to stay in touch. Sue had offered to take Noah the following day so they could pack without needing to watch him, an offer they gratefully accepted.

By the following evening, both of them were exhausted, but they were all packed up, with things they would need with them in suitcases, but the rest of their belongings in packing boxes. They probably wouldn’t keep everything, but many of the items had sentimental value. They would take it and then figure out later what else to get rid of. The furniture was left in the house, as it had been furnished when they got there. There were a few pieces they had bought which they left, but not much. They took quite a few boxes to a local not-for-profit store they had frequently used.

They put Noah to bed, who was tired after an emotional farewell to Anna, and then the two adults sat outside for the last time to enjoy the balmy Florida air with a drink each.

“I’ll miss this weather,” mused Liv. “Apart from the humidity and the storms, anyway.”

Rafael laughed. “Yeah, I prefer the dry heat of New York, although not the wet or the cold winters. I’m glad we went to the beach this weekend though, and had a last swim in the ocean. I’ll miss that.”

“What are you most looking forward to? Apart from seeing your mom, of course.” Liv had thought of so many things she wanted to do, and she was curious.

Rafael smirked. “Breaking my decent clothing out of storage, and buying a bottle of good single malt whiskey. Seeing the faces of some of the people who think I’m dead. But also getting back to my apartment. Mom said yesterday that the movers were taking our stuff there today, so by the time we get in there, it will be full of boxes. We’ll have to make it child-proof for Noah though.”

Liv smiled. “I might have known whiskey and clothing were on your list! But are you sure you will have space for all our stuff?”

Rafael shrugged. “It’ll be a tight fit, but we can start looking for somewhere bigger if it isn’t big enough for us. I’ll probably need to get a job first before we can buy somewhere though. I was thinking I should speak to the DA about working as an ADA while I look around for something that is what I really want to do.”

“I’ll talk to Captain Harris too. Nick has already broached the subject with him, so he won’t be surprised, but I’m not sure if he can swing the extra hours in the department. Nick said he was going to ask 1PP.”

There was silence as they both looked out into the night. Rafael looked at Liv, and when she noticed him watching her, she smiled at him. He had a serious expression on his face, and then he started to speak. She could tell that it was from the heart.

“Despite the heartache, and the separation from our friends and family, I’m really glad this happened to me. I know that left to my own devices, I’d probably have worked myself into an early grave at the DA’s office, never realizing what true happiness was like. I can’t regret that, and I’m determined to not fall back into my old ways when we get back. You and Noah are the best things that ever happened to me, and you’re my priorities in life now.”

Liv could tell how serious Rafael was about this, and she reached over to kiss him and take him in her arms. “Me too. I love you, and I know Noah does too. You’re our family now, no matter where we are.”

The two lovers spent the next hour in each other’s arms, making the most of the warm evening, for the last time.


	7. Chapter 7

By the following afternoon, Noah was crabby, having not had his full nap, and Liv and Rafael were feeling tired too with the travelling. But finally they touched down at JFK and managed to exit the plane. Rafael went for their luggage, and got back just in time to see Nick Amaro approaching Liv. She saw him and gave him a big hug, and then Nick crouched down to speak to Noah. He didn’t seem sure of Nick, not having seen him for a very long time, but stayed close to his mom, watching Nick closely.

Rafael walked towards them, and Noah ran up to him with his arms held up, crying “papa.”

Nick watched this and his eyebrows rose up, as in the past he felt Barba had always seemed uncomfortable with Noah. Of course, the best part of a year living together would have changed that, but it was still strange to see him not only so comfortable with Noah, but also tanned, with a beard, and wearing jeans. It was definitely not what he was used to.

Rafael was smiling as he greeted Nick with a handshake. Although the two men had not been friends, Rafael had heard from his mom how much help Nick had been to her, and how he had regularly spent time with her or called her, and generally treated her like family. Rafael had asked Nick to take care of his mom, and he had done that, much better than he had expected.

“Barba,” Nick greeted him, having always used his surname in the past. It got a giggle from Liv.

“That’s a name you haven’t heard for 10 months,” she said, smiling at Rafael.

Rafael returned her smile then turned to Nick. “Call me Rafael. I wanted to thank you for all you did for my mom. She told me you were a great help to her while I’ve been gone. I really appreciate it.”

Nick shrugged, and colored slightly, not used to the praise from the older man. “You’re welcome. She’s a nice lady. I enjoyed spending time with her.” He took over wheeling the trolley from Rafael as Noah was insisting on being carried. “So, you and Noah seem to have bonded well. Having seen you together before you left, I never would have guessed you’d make a good papa.”

Rafael smirked. “I’ve had plenty of practice, and he’s a good kid.” He looked at Noah, and Nick could see the love in his eyes. Then he saw the look Rafael and Liv shared, and that made him wonder what their relationship was now. He wasn’t left in doubt for long, as Liv moved closer to Rafael and took his free hand in hers.

She met Nick’s look of surprise defiantly, expecting him to say something negative. He didn’t tend to react well to her past romantic partners. But all he did was raise his eyebrows and smirk. “I see you’ve all had practice being a family.” He decided to change the subject. “So what are your plans now you are back?”

The older man filled him in on what he had been doing over the last year, and what he fancied doing in the future. Liv had already discussed what she wanted in terms of her career with Nick over the phone.

“We’re planning to stay at Rafael’s apartment for now, and then see how things go. No matter what though, we are a family now, and are going to stay that way.” Liv was pretty determined about that.

Nick nodded but didn’t say anything. It was a lot to take in, but even he could see the three of them looked happy, and Rafael looked years younger without the stress and frown lines. He was smiling more too. As long as he continued to make Liv and Noah happy and looked after them, Nick would accept his place in their lives.

***

Two hours later they were checked into the hotel suite that Nick had reserved for them, and ordering room service. Noah was grouchy because he was overtired, and Rafael and Olivia were also exhausted. So staying in the multi-room suite seemed like the best option. Nick had gone over the arrangements for the following evening with them, when their welcome home party was arranged for, and then he had headed off to leave the family alone. They were expecting one visitor though.

There was a knock on the door and Rafael rushed to answer it, opening it quickly and sweeping Lucia into his arms for a long hug. It was several minutes later before they pulled apart, and by that time there were tears on both their faces. It had been so long since they had seen each other, and neither of them had been able to wait for this reunion. They had been speaking on the phone every day for the last week, but it was different actually seeing each other in person.

Lucia wiped away her tears, and ran a hand over her son’s beard. “Quite a different look you have there Rafi. I think it suits you. You look less stressed as well.”

Rafael grinned. “Yes, life has been much less stressful. I don’t want to go back to how things were before I left so I will be making some changes. But much of the credit has to go to Olivia. She has looked after me well.” He grinned at Liv, who walked forward to great Lucia. The two women had met before, briefly, but only once at the courthouse.

Lucia gave Olivia a quick hug, murmuring into her ear “Thank you for looking after Rafi.” She pulled away and smiled at her. “I understand you are part of our family now. I look forward to getting to know you better.” She spotted Noah who was hiding behind Olivia’s leg, peaking out at Lucia.

Lucia bent down. “Hello,” she said, smiling at the small boy. “You must be Noah. I’ve heard a lot about you. I’m Lucia, your abuela.”

“Mom,” Rafael said with a sigh and a frown at his mother.

“What Rafi? You said that Olivia and Noah were family now. That makes me his grandmother. We might as well start as we mean to go on.”

Rafael looked at Olivia, but she was no help.

“I think it’s great. I’ve no relatives so Noah hasn’t had any grandparents.” She grinned at Rafael, and bent down to speak to Noah. “Lucia is your abuela. That means grandmother. She’s papa’s mother.”

Lucia beamed at hearing Rafael described as Noah’s papa. She had always wanted grandchildren, but had despaired of getting any, seeing that Rafael was so consumed by his job that he had shown no signs of settling down.  

Just then there was another knock at the door. Their food had arrived. A cart was brought in and left, and Rafael carried dishes to the table in the suite while Liv settled Noah down in a chair.

“We ordered a variety of things mom, so do help yourself,” Rafael told his mom. Noah had chicken pieces and fries, and there were an assortment of Spanish tapas dishes as well. Everyone helped themselves, while Rafael opened a bottle of wine and poured some for the adults.

Lucia lifted her glass in a toast. “A toast to you all. Welcome home at last. Salud.”

Liv and Rafael smiled at each other as they raised their glasses and murmured ‘salud’ in return. Then they tucked in.

Lucia left a couple hours later. Noah had fallen asleep soon after eating, and Olivia had put him to bed, letting Rafael catch up with his mom while she unpacked. She was so pleased they were finally reunited, and that he had such a great relationship with his mom. It made her remember her own turbulent times with her own mom. Lucia would be good for Noah though, as he had so few family members. Now he had a grandmother as well as two parents.

Rafael came into their bedroom and put his arms around Liv and kissed her neck. “You didn’t need to leave us Liv, you could have stayed.”

She turned in his arms. “I know. But I think it was good for you two to have time alone. I’ll get to know Lucia better over the next few weeks and months I’m sure, as will Noah.”

Rafael laughed. “Yeah. She’s always wanted grandchildren, so she will spoil Noah rotten. I’m just glad she’s happy after the stresses of the last year. It’s good to be back. But in the meantime, I think we need to get some sleep.” He leaned forward and kissed Liv tenderly, and then deepened the kiss when she responded. He moved backwards, towards the bed, and then lay down with Liv, carrying on kissing her, but also caressing her body.

Liv pulled away with a chuckle. “I thought you said sleep? I don’t think sleep is on your mind.”

Rafael smirked. “Well, we’ll be in bed, and can sleep later.” He moved back to kissing her, and Liv was definitely not objecting. They tenderly made love, before settling down for their first night in New York together, wrapped up in each other’s arms.

***

The following day, they all went to Rafael’s apartment to see what would need doing before they moved in. The furniture was all there, but most of their belongings were in boxes, with an assortment belonging to Liv and Noah as well as Rafael. They hadn’t been there long when Nick and Lucia turned up, all ready to help them get things sorted. Lucia had brought snacks and drinks to keep them all going, and offered to play with Noah while the others did some unpacking. Nick helped Rafael assemble the beds which had been taken apart before being stored, while Liv sorted out which boxes contained Noah’s stuff.

Rafael had shown her the small guest room he had, which was to be Noah’s room, so Liv got started in there. His room would be ready first. She could hear laughter from the main bedroom, and smiled. She was glad the two men were getting on well. So often in the past they had argued at work and had never been friendly, so this was a change. She was pleased though, as Nick was one of her best friends, so she really wanted him to get on with Rafael.

By mid-afternoon, Noah was having a nap in his new room while Liv and Rafael unpacked clothes into the many wardrobes. There was plenty of space because most of Rafael’s extensive collection of suits hadn’t been unpacked. They had both picked out an outfit to wear tonight to their party though and something for Noah too. They left after Noah woke up. They had made a lot of progress today, but there was still plenty to do.

Once back at the hotel, they got ready for the evening. Nick had invited quite a crowd of people. Although he had kept tight-lipped about it, most people were expecting that it was a party to welcome Olivia home, but no-one was expecting Rafael to be there, as Nick hadn’t told anyone he was alive.

The room they had hired at the hotel was full of people by the time the guests of honor were ready to make their entrance. They waited outside in the hallway, listening to what was going on inside.

Nick tapped his glass with a spoon to get everyone’s attention. “Thank you everyone for coming here tonight. It has been nearly a year since we lost ADA Rafael Barba and Sgt Olivia Benson, along with her son Noah from our midst, due to the local gang putting out a hit on them. We vowed then that they would not get away with it, and finally justice has been done. All the gang members involved are either dead or in prison. I thought we should celebrate that.”

Nick could hear noises of agreement all around him. He smiled. “I also have a surprise for you all. I’m sure many of you think you know what this is, but I think you’ll still be shocked. I want to thank the federal marshals of the witness protection service, for keeping our loved ones safe for the last year.” At this he walked towards the door to the suite and opened it, allowing all the assembled guests to see not just Olivia and Noah, who they had expected, but also Rafael.

Nick heard shocked gasps all around him and laughed. “I told you that you would be shocked!” he commented. He stood back and let the assembled people move forward, and seeing that Noah was looking worried about all the unfamiliar faces around him, he took him from his mom’s arms, carrying the toddler away to a quieter part of the room. Noah had played with Nick during the day and was now comfortable with him again, so didn’t object.

Most of the assembled people were friends of Liv’s, or worked with her, but some of the people Nick had invited were there because they were closer to Rafael. The former ADA found himself wrapped up in a hug by his secretary, Carmen. She had never shown such affection for him during their time working together, but he felt touched as he saw tears in her eyes and realized how much him being alive meant to her. He hugged her back and kissed her cheek too before letting go.

Next to greet Rafael was the DA. Nick had approached him, not really expecting he would show up, but Jack McCoy was really glad he had made the effort. Rafael had been a big loss to his team, and he had been very upset at his death. Threats were relatively common for prosecutors, but it was rare for them to actually be carried out. Losing an ADA in that way had made the other lawyers more cautious, and not keen to get involved in gang cases. The repercussions of Rafael’s death had affected everyone. On a personal level, he had always liked Rafael, and so was very pleased to see that he was still alive. He went over and shook Rafael’s hand, and they chatted for a few minutes before Jack brought up the subject of work.

“So Rafael, do you want to come back to the DA’s office again now you are back? I’m happy to make space for you. We’ve missed your expertise.”

Rafael smiled. “I’m not sure what I want to do long-term, but in the short-term, that would be good. I’m happy to work part-time as there will be a lot I need to do to get my life running again. The feds told me that the paperwork to resurrect me is a bitch, and it will take some time for all my affairs to get in order.”

Jack nodded. “Well I know I can sort something out. Give me a week or so and then give me a ring. We can have lunch, and then you can fill me in more on what you’ve been doing during the last year, and what your future plans are.”

“I’ll do that. Thanks Jack,” Rafael said, smiling at his former boss before the DA moved back to allow someone else to welcome him home.

Liv in the meantime had been surrounded by SVU members, being hugged by Fin and Amanda, and then more cautiously by Carisi, who wasn’t used to taking such liberties with her as he had only known her as his boss. Munch and Cragen were also there, and both of them were pleased to see her too. She got a handshake and a ‘welcome home’ from Captain Harris, who told her he would speak to her the following week about her job, if she wanted to ring him when she was settled back. She smiled and said she would.

Nick and Noah had been joined by Lucy, Noah’s former nanny. She had found work with another family, but had missed Noah. She said hello to him and talked to him, and they quickly were getting on as well as they always had. She marveled at how much he had grown, and how much more he could say now.

It was nearly an hour before Liv and Rafael had greeted everyone and were able to get a drink. The SVU squad was surrounding them, and they had been regaling them with what they had been doing in the last year. Amanda grinned slyly at Rafael. “So counsellor, how have you coped with being a family man for the last year? You were pretty uptight and not good with Noah before you left. That must have been quite an adjustment.”

Rafael smirked at her. “Well Rollins, I have usually been able to turn my hand at most things I put my mind to. Not being an ADA and having to turn the often bad evidence you gave me into guilty verdicts reduce my stress levels, and practice has made me an excellent family man. I’m sure Liv can tell you I’ve turned into a pretty good father and husband while we were in Florida.” At this, he moved closer and put his arm around Olivia’s waist, pulling her further into his personal space.

At this, Amanda’s eyes widened. She could read the body language, and it certainly seemed to imply that Liv and Barba were now a couple, and not just pretending to be one. She looked from one to the other in shock, and Liv put her out of her misery.

“Yes Amanda, we are together now. And Rafael is an excellent husband and has been a great papa to Noah. Despite being forced to move and not contact anyone from our past, we’ve had a pretty good year. Now we’re back we will make some changes because neither of us wants to go back to our long working hours and be stressed again, but we are a family now, and will stay that way.”

Amanda smiled at Liv, but didn’t say anything, speechless for once.

Liv moved closer to Rafael, with a huge grin on her face. This was great; being home in New York, surrounded by family and friends, yet also still being together.

It was hours later before everyone left, and Liv and Rafael knew they would be busy over the next month catching up with everyone who wanted to meet with them to find out more about their lives now. Noah was asleep on the couch, so Rafael carried him up to their suite and put him to bed, and then joined Liv in their room. They got ready for bed themselves, and then slipped between the bedclothes and into each other’s arms.

In the dark they kissed and whispered words of love to each other. They were safely back home where they belonged, and their friends all had welcomed them back in style. They felt loved and cared for.


	8. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter - sorry it's a bit shorter than the others. 
> 
> Thanks for all the lovely feedback I've had about this fic, I really appreciate all the comments. xXx

Six months later, they were celebrating again, but this time everyone knew in advance what the happy occasion was. From now on, Olivia and Rafael would actually be man and wife, and not just living as a married couple. It wasn’t a big wedding, as neither of them had wanted that, but all their close friends and family were there.

Cragen had been honored to give Liv away, and had showed as much pride as if he actually were the father of the bride. Nick had been Rafael’s best man, as the two men had become quite close in the last six months. Rafael joked that it was because Nick had proved he could organize a good party, and with a cop planning the stag night, it wouldn’t get too out of hand. But they had really bonded, and Nick also saw Lucia regularly still. It was almost as if the two men were brothers.

Noah had been a bit upset at the move from Florida to New York, but had settled down, and was now in pre-school which he loved. They had moved to a larger apartment in a building with a garden on the roof which was safe for children to use, and there was also a park nearby. He had officially been adopted by Rafael too. Although Noah didn’t understand this, it made both Liv and Rafael feel more secure.

Work-wise, they were both happy and settled. Rafael was working part-time as a lawyer for a firm specializing in asylum and immigration cases, but also lending his expertise to the charity Liv now worked for. This helped women who had been sexually assaulted, and she was loving being able to use all her experience as an SVU cop and also what she had learnt in Florida to help women.

After a few very successful cases where Rafael had defended abused women, he had been asked to defend a high-profile actress who had killed her husband in self-defense after being abused and raped. Although working as a defense lawyer was still fairly new to him, his experience as a prosecutor in these cases and also with his charity work helped the transition. He found he excelled at it, and got a ‘not guilty’ verdict on all counts. Since then he was now being asked to work more cases, but he was picking and choosing what he did, putting his family first. Taking a few big cases meant he could afford to work pro-bono more to help women who desperately needed his help, so he and Liv had agreed he should work some of these. It was nice to have the choice.

Liv had been reluctant to give up being a cop, but realized it was best for her family. She had worked well over her 20 years so could retire, and it meant she could put her time and energy where she really wanted to, and help more vulnerable women, while still being home for Noah more of the time. It was ideal for them all.

It had taken a couple of months before Rafael was fully restored to living status officially, but once this happened and their home and job situations were sorted out, the next things he had been determined to do were adopt Noah and marry Liv. Now those goals had been achieved as well.

As they approached their hotel room, Rafael stopped, and swept Liv up in his arms to carry her over the threshold.

Liv laughed. “I’m not sure the hotel room counts, Rafael, especially as we’ve been living as man and wife for a year and a half.”

Rafael closed the door behind them with his foot, and then gently set Liv down on the bed, before following to lie next to her.

“I like tradition, and I like holding you, Mrs Barba” he said in a husky voice, before bending over to kiss her.

Liv reached up to wind her fingers in her husband’s hair and responded to his kiss. They had a week’s honeymoon in this Florida hotel, with Noah being cared for by Lucia in their absence. Although she would miss her son, Liv was looking forward to them having uninterrupted time together which their lives together didn’t often give them.  

Rafael pulled away to undo his tie and remove his vest, and then Liv pulled him closer by his suspenders again into another kiss before following the elasticated straps to the fastenings and undoing them. Next came his shirt, and soon she could explore his bare chest.

Liv found herself pushed away so Rafael could find the zipper to the dress she was wearing and undo it. He peeled away the thin straps and pushed the dress down, with Liv helping by raising her hips so he could take it completely off, leaving her wearing just her lacy underwear, bought especially for tonight.

Rafael’s eyes darkened as he took in the beautiful curves covered only in wisps of lace. A year of being with Liv hadn’t diminished his desire for her, and he was more in love now than ever. He quickly discarded the remainder of his clothes before setting about arousing Liv still more. By the time her underwear had been carefully removed, she was trembling with desire.

Rafael settled himself between her strong thighs and gradually sunk down into her heat. She arched her back and gasped in pleasure as he began to move inside her. Their eyes met and they continued to gaze at each other as they spiraled closer to their peaks, both crying out each other’s name as they fell over the edge.

They caught their breaths in the afterglow, and curled up together, their limbs entwined as they murmured words of love to each other before drifting off to sleep.

Despite the threats and the changes that had been forced upon them, their lives had only been made better for the experiences. Now they had each other, something neither of them was going to take for granted. As they cuddled closer in their sleep, with a smile on each of their faces, they knew that this was the start of the rest of their lives, and they would be together, forever.  


End file.
